Major in Hockey, Minor in Baffoonery

Pointstink does not have any of the information for our opening day, I only know how things went on the gold rink so I will give you my best effort. . .

Patriots 2
Stickmen 1

In the opening frame the offenses for both teams were stymied, great defense and goaltending dominated the play but in the second it was the Pats who penetrated the fabulous fat man in the Stick net. Only a short time later, Ellis playing half-awake at the other end, is caught off his angle and beaten low stickside. In the third- Patriot sub, Bryan Brookman, cut behind the Stickmen's net after dumping the puck into the low slot. As he emerged around the opposite post the puck landed at his skates, he somehow manages to shoehorn the puck between Blubaugh's pads and the post for the lead. Even with most of the third left to play, the Sticks were unable to muster the tying goal. The Stickmen are DONE! Too bad, they still have a meaningless season ahead of them.

Lone Star Imports 3
Grave Diggers 0


The returning Hitmen (who have now re-branded themselves as an auto dealer) strike hard and often in this battle royale. In the first Ellis tries to prevent the puck from moving in front of the post, but Kuo manages to muscle the puck in for the first tally of the game. In the second a shanked shot from the top of the slot is redirected high blocker past Ellis by Gabe Rivera. Not long after that, Levesque follows the rebound off her breakaway attempt an gets her unassisted first goal of the session out of the way. The third was all Ellis, he secures the Digger's defeat with stellar, meaningless play allowing no goals in the final eleven minutes. The Diggers are DONE! It wasn't that long ago that this team was clamoring for an I-league minor, the Yock delivers and the Diggers choke again.

Komets 3?
Brewzers 1?


The Brew Crew scored first and made as if they were the '98 Stars, riding the goal out until the end of the game. Unfortunately, they are not the '98 Stars. They hold-up through the third period but the Komets are building on last session's successes, they score two or possibly three goals with the inspiring words of coach Al. Coach Al was quoted after the game, "These Komets are poised to take the Keg this session. With consistent offensive outings of two or possibly three goals and my inspiring words, who can stop us?". The Brewzers are DONE! The top four finish of last session was proven to be a mirage in the play-offs, and the trend will continue throughout this session as well.

Ice Bats 11
DFW Titans 2


The Titans were strong in the opening innings, working the count, manufacturing runs, but the high octane Ice Bats, fresh from Austin, are stacked in the back half of their line-up. The seventh alone was comprised of three Bat home runs with six runs all together. When Ice Bat closer, John McNabb, took the bottom of the ninth with three outs on four batters, the work-a-day Titans were left to pick up the pieces of their season, even as this is game one. The Titans are DONE! This team will no longer be the bride, the bride's maid, or even invited to the reception.


Blue Devils 2
Snipers 1

Either the Snipers have moved up to I major or the returning Keg champs have dropped to I minor, either way we all had a feeling what the outcome would be for this game. The outcome may have been predictable but the game itself was anything but. The Devils score first, a flurry in front of the Sniper net is punctuated by the artful, rising backhander of Val Kuntz, putting the Snipers behind early. Coach Bateman, however, would not let his team go gentle into that good night, they storm back and score one of their own leaving two periods to battle it out for the win. That would not be enough, the Snipers escape with an overtime loss when a deflection through traffic makes it just inside the left post for the Blue Devil's win, Ellis collapses like Fanny Mae. No doubt the Devils have smelled the coffee and will have no rust left for next week's game. The Snipers are DONE! How could this team have ever expected to compete in the highest of I-leagues, Euless I-league, major?


Puckers 0
Chiefs 0


In the first round, the Chiefs were ablaze firing-off lightning fast combinations, catching the Puckers off balance with a hard left at the end. Time after time the Puckers tried to wait out the eager young Chiefs with the rope-a-dope, the plan paid off in the fourth as the tired Chiefs made for the finishing left they were caught in the ribs with a Pucker right. The Chiefs lost their bravado and proved not to be able to fight a cautious bout, they could not answer the bell in the eleventh and the Puckers get the TKO. In the press box, the bickering betwixt Stone Cold and Ginger quickly evolved into a palpable sexual tension. The Puckers and Chiefs are both DONE!


Team Euless 3
Silverwings 1


Ladies and gentleman, may I direct your attention to the center ring. How many clowns are there in this tiny little locker room? Bryan Brookman and his staff have entertained the crowned heads of Europe with this same juggling routine. Observe the spectacle of the two headed goalie! The roaring you hear from the cage, the ill-tempered Sergio Castillo, which no man can tame. The high flying Super Girl, carrying all the hopes of the Wing offense. . . The Silverwings are DONE! What is this team Euless thing? This session's Moose?




The Privateers played the Whalers earlier in the week, I understand. A bunch of Pirates versus a bunch of Big Fisherman, I don't know. In Moby Dick, the whale killed all of the whalers except one. In the Swiss Family Robinson, I remember the line from Francis, "I see a Pirate getting SQUISHED!", I guess both of these teams are DONE!

My prediction: Blue Devils lose to the Pats in the Keg finals.

P.S. Is this a good name for a kid's toy?