Weak Too

minor i

Minor Blue Devils (0-2-0) 0
Brewzers (1-1-0) 4

The Brew crew has a big first period commencing with a Raul Gilbreath goal (no doubt his first eight games for the night), and Steven Collyard and Jamil Jabri make a three goal game into the first intermission. Collyard hits again in the second and the minor Devils begin to grasp the depth of their inadequacy, a problem that couldn't be solved even with a truck full of extenze. A blank third ends with a pathetic request for some cuddle time, which the Brewzers refuse. Credit Mike Moore with the anemic shut-out.

Grave Diggers (0-2-0) 1
Stickmen (2-0-0) 4

The Diggers start the game with a Tiffany Hauck goal and hold the lead for halfway through the second- hoping to gain their first victory of the season. They shoot themselves in the skate with a penalty resulting in a David Williams goal, Charlie Heine flips the lead with a shorty. Chase Hannah and Vance Bowman throw the dirt in on the Diggers in the third which means the promising second half of the previous season was likely meaningless.

Mutineers (1-1-0) 1
Snipers (2-0-0) 5

Matt Walker and the Snipers have put the disappointment of the post season out of their heads and reboot with another regular season win. The Mutes tempt fate with an early penalty and Edward Vogel makes them pay- James Horn follows with two more Sniper goals. Chris Davis makes it 4-0 and the ensuing Mickey Syrquin goal for the Mutes goes all but unnoticed. The Snipers cap the evening with Vogel's second.

MAJOR I

Silverwings (1-0-0) -
Major Blue Devils (1-1-0) -

MHOA never received their memo, so the game went on without them, even the scorer joined in playing for the Wings. The unofficial score was MBD 471, Silverwings 2. I apologize, those two got past me whilst I was chatting on the bench with some of my teammates.

M.I.B. (1-1-0) 0
Shockers (2-0-0) 3

The Masturbation Institute of Bedford is unable to sustain the fervor of their opening night game, how could they against the greatness of the Shocker net minder: Topher McPherson. Justin Driscoll scores the first Shocker goal, which would prove to be the game winner. Chris Ensor and Stephen Dowling add to the lead, but the third was all Topher as M.I.B. releases the hounds and the tiny goalie dismantles even the best they can muster. This makes six straight periods without a goal against, what is this world coming to when no one can score on this pinhead?

Patriots (1-1-0) 2
Spiders (0-2-0) 0

The developing rivalry between these two teams is quite tasty, in the last two meetings both have a win and the perceived trespasses of past conflict remained imprinted upon the minds of the hungry competitors. The game tilts to the Pats on an early power play where Jeff Eagle emerges from the pile in the crease with arms raised. The Spiders send in a wave of shots but Andrew Patti vocalizes the teams frustration with a string of expletives as his best shot ends in my glove. The temperature finally drops with Eagle's second goal halfway through the third and I escape the battle with a clean sheet- the only way to beat the persistent Spiders.

Soul Patch (1-1-0) 5
Puckers (1-1-0) 4

The Puckers come off of a decisive 1-0 shut-out win on opening night and score three goals off the whistle: Steven Niekamp, Rich Wojcio, and Charlie Heine. With the same cast that carried them last week what could go wrong? The Patches fire in a goal from Brian Lochkos, reload and score a Steve McNamara goal, hit again for a Bruce Davis tally, collect a Brad Aho goal, and end the five goal run with a shorty from Lochkos. The Puckers catch their breath and score an Aaron Hawley goal with nearly ten minutes left in the game but never find the equalizer. Did you fall asleep, Patrick?