I league results...better late than never

We had forgotten we hadn’t posted the results from Saturday…to busy celebrating Hanukkah.

Patriots 2 Grave Diggers 0

After rumors of a C league team showing up for the GD’s were shunned, the Patriots arrived not caring really who they played. GD compiled themselves of a player from every team in the league, and could still not find a way to beat the pats. GD goalie John Ellis played his heart out and was so eager to beat his old team, alas, not enough. Patriots get their goals coming from John Newell and Bryan Brookman, while Pats goalie Phil Talley was strong in net and now has put together back to back shut outs. GD made a game of in late by throwing all they had at the pats, but simply not enough.

Ice Holes 1 Puckers 0

This game was incredibly boring. No Scoring or Penalties the first period, followed by no scoring and one penalty in the 2^nd. WTF man!? Finaly in the third it was Mark Dunning who would beat Casey Jenkins for the game’s only needed goal. Ice Holes really dominated this one as they threw 29 shots at Jenkins, while on the other side of the rink, Holes’ goalie Doug Taylor easily stopped all 5 shots he was faced with. Somebody bring in a ringer or something, jeez.

Brewzers 4 Snipers 0

Brewzers get back to their winning ways as they blank the snipers somewhat easily. The letter A scored on a Rob Walker Assist, while Brit Broomstrom and Steven Daniels added goals (Daniels would have two goals on the night). Again, the refs let this one go pretty much by only calling one penalty in this game, and that was even late into the third. As far as goalies are concerned, it was the letter A who had a shutout, stopping 16 of 16 shots, while Snipers goalie Nicolas Murphee had a rough night, only stopping 13 of 17 shots. Jennifer Leonard is hot.

Warriors 4 Blue Devils 0
Warriors were without coach Dallas Lehr in this one, but I’m sure he would have been proud of his team, who absolutely crushed the BDs. The Evil Empire was lacking leadership in Mike Drago and Ray Workman, and they paid for it. Warriors were up 2-0 after the first, and just added to it. Eric Johnson had two goals while Tim Brady and Clark Sandlin also had a goal. From Todd Smith, “We played like none of us had every played a game of hockey before in our lives”. Coach Nate Hodges did not comment on his first loss as a head coach.

Patriots 4 Snipers 1

Patriots all but secure a spot in the keg game with a big win here in a tough game, not because of a talent of the Snipers, but because of sheer fatigue set in from playing their second game of the night. For many of the pats, it was their 2^nd if not 3^rd game of the night. The Pats rallied past their sleep deprived state and once again it was John Newell who got the scoring started, this time off a Steve Benefield assist. Scott Dolbee would score, as well as Travis Lehr on a nice break away goal that humbled snipers goalie John Ellis. (this guy just won’t take a hint). However the best goal of the night would be scored by the now on fire Roy Haenselmann whose upper age bracket was not shown at all as he beat Ellis top shelf on the backhand, sending the Patriots bench into a roar of victory. In the interest of fairness, the Snipers scored one from Ken Halford to make it interesting. As goes the New England Patriots, as go the Euless Patriots. From Junior Lindamood who missed the game, “I think it’s the coaching of Hodges and Skupien and also the Hoss-ness of Butch and Greg, they really know what they’re doin’ out there, It inspires me not to suck”.

Komets 3 Stickmen 0

David Blubaugh is our hero in this one. 4 total minutes in penalties, both on roughing occasions. HA! Sean Kier and Wil Dobson would be the komets guns on the night as Keir sinks the game winner while Dobson tacks on two more. Once again, John Ellis turns up as the goalie of record in this game (how many games did this freak play in!?!?!) as he gets the shut out (high five dude). Blubaugh just didn’t have the defense in front of him, but it was fun to see him punch komets after they scored. From Grave Diggers Head Coach Bobby Sirkis who was observing the game upstairs, “Blubaugh is freakin hilarious, love that dude. I wish Ellis had some temper to him like that.”

Shoot the J!

How to stop a breakaway....

awesome

Rumors buzz for Marty - Marty Trade.

Turco for St. Louis...


I would cry for joy if this happened.

lets hope the ambassador of fun/GM Hull has the stones to pull this one off.


Give me Smith or Give me Death!!

I League, week 5

Grave Diggers 2 Komets 1
We have heard conflicting reports that Bobby Sirkis came out of retirement to play I league, for the most part we can confirm they are true. GD had a battle with the scrappy komets as it was decided not until the third period. Grave Diggers took the lead on a Corey Howard goal in the first. Komets struck on a goal from the great Mike Gallagher to knot the game at 1-1. Apparently goalie John Ellis scored the game winner…we know that’s a lie, but apparently a mishandle of the puck by komets goalie brett Bryant would cost the komets this one, as the GD improve to 4-2 on the season. Komets lost any shot of making the keg game by losing this one.

Ice Holes 1 Stickmen 0
This was like watching the NY Giants vs Baltimore Ravens superbowl in 1997…ugh. Ice holes score their first and only goal early on an Andrea Cortinas shot from Greg Durante. You would think in a game this tight, there would be a lot of penalties…but nope…one flippin penalty the whole game…what was this??? Doug Taylor gets the shutout as he kicks aside all 16 shots he faced while David Blubaugh caught the rough end of it as he faced 22, but let in that one early. Ice Holes still in the hunt for a playoff shot. Stickmen were just happy ohio state squeaked into the national championship…were they’ll get obliterated by LSU. HA!

Blue Devils 4 Puckers 1
Blue Devils win with by far their best game of the season in this crushing victory. BDs were passing, shooting; setting plays up…it almost looked like the patriots out there. Danny Flynn scored the best goal we have ever seen since the US beat the Soviets back in the day for his first career goal ever. Steve Niekamp reminded the Blue Devils they were still I leaguers as he deceptively caught the BDs napping. Coach Nate Hodges then cursed out his entire team and threatened to ground them from Beer. They started shooting and scoring. The great Todd “New England Patriots own you all” Smith scored from ringer Mike Drago, while Clint Wacker and Chris Zoll scored to put this one out of reach. Big story of the night was the BDs scoring as many goals as the Puckers had shots. 49 to 4 was the shot count, what was even more amazing was the fact the BDs took no penalties…holy…

Spiders 2 Brewzers 1
Spiders have randomly come out of nowhere and find themselves tied for second in the league. This was a good one that we wish we would have seen, because these two teams pretty much played each other again later on that night. Spiders first goal was scored by the letter A, for a 1-nil lead. Brewzers equalized it from a goal from the semi-average Jamil Jabri. In the third though it would be Arvin Manalo form Kurt Kresta on the game winner late to seal the win. More on these players later…

Patriots 5 Warriors 0
In what was supposed to be I league’s version on Patriots vs Colts, turned into more of Patriots vs Bills. Patriots were concerned over what Dallas Lehr might bring to the table in this pivotal game of powerhouses. In what was for the most part a checking game, the Patriots established their will and did what they do best: Win. Cory “Shoot the J” Howard scored off a Butch Hutchinson centering feed, while Bryan “Paul Coyne” Brookman’s breakaway goal broke the will of the Warriors in the 2nd while Roy Haenselmann scored on a Junior Lindamood assist in the same frame. In the third, warriors stepped up their physicality, patriots kept scoring. Brad Allen scored off a Haenselmann assist, while Cory Howard made it rain at end with his second of the night from Les York. From warriors coach Dallas Lehr, “I probably shouldn’t have made this team skate suicides before the game, but one thing is sure, everyone is fired. Blow the damn team up”.

Snipers 5 Spiders 4 (SO)
We did see this one and it was a freakin gem. In a game reffed by his Majesty Tom Yockey, we saw celebrations, goals and brawls…as is just and right for hockey. First period alone had four goals: Pete Clark and Evan Callahan for the Spiders, while Tom Buckner and Rob Mustell for the snipers. 2nd period was the Rob Mustell show as he threw two more in for his hat trick on the night. Spiders then fought back in the third as the letter A scored and Clark got his second of the night for the equalizer. After a scoreless OT, cue the shootout. A freakin 20 person shootout occurred with sweet goals, dumb misses and awesome celebrations. It would be the Great Jennifer Leonard who absolutely undressed goalie John Ellis Jussi Jokeinen style to win it for the Snipers. It may have been the greatest goal ever scored, and the celebration ten times as great. Huzzah!

Buy me an I phone for Christmas!


the fake olson refing an NFL game...

Breaking News: Feds Raid Warriors for Documents

Arlington, Tx - Federal Agents raided Warriors headquarters in Arlington approximately 8:48am on Friday morning under the suspicion on espionage, sabotage, foul play and heresy against the pope.

Officials are claiming the warriors hockey organization illegally stole financial documents, plays, game film as well as attempted sabotage of team transport, equipment and a possible premeditated assassinations plans of several key Patriots players and coaching staff.

A special agent with the FBI, who spoke on the condition on anonymity, said, "We were issued a search warrant for the retrieval of several documents as well as photographs, contraband, and video tapes which could be held in courts as evidence of foul play if they are indeed found."

From Warriors head coach, Dallas Lehr, "Until they actually find any documents, they have nothing on us. But I can't believe they can't be bribed."

The Patriots organization has little to say about the incident, however team owner Jeff Vaughan did comment briefly on the ordeal.

"I'm taking names".


Former Warriors Coach Bobby Sirkis was appalled at the report, "I am disappointed how far the organization has fallen since I left as coach. There would not be this embarrassment on the franchise. We never got caught when I was coaching."

Lehr also stated, "I know for a fact now that this league is rigged and strongly feel that (Tom) Yockey has something to do with this."

Yockey was unavailable for comment.

No word how this will affect Saturday's Patriots/Warriors match up.

I League...Thanksgiving Style

As we sit here content from our pre-thanksgiving feast, we thought it would be good to write on the blog.

So here’s last week crap…er action…

Blue Devils 3 Brewzers 1

A short handed brewzers squad takes one on the chin as the Blue Devils bounce back to .500 on the season. Jamil Jabri scored the lone Brewzers goal. After that, the Blue Devils stepped up and played one of their finest games this season. Chris Zolle scored from Clint Wacker, while Ray Workman and Scott Speelman scored in the Blue Devils three unanswered goals. The Hot Gloria Buell extended her point streak to 2 games with an assist on the speelman goal. From Ray Workman, “This win was for Todd Smith, it’s his 40^th Birthday, and he couldn’t look more the age if he tried.” From Jabri, “F&*#& you Nate Hodges.” Wow…harsh.

Ice Holes 5 Puckers 2

Ice Holes totally trounce the Puckers in this one. Things looked good for the Puckers at the start as John Hardin scored to put the lucky puckers up 1-0 in the first. Then the Ice Holes started playing hockey. Four consecutive scores for the Holes, as Chris Hayes gets a hat trick and Philip Hussey also taps one in. Travis Lehr would get some ice time for the Puckers and score for the Puckers other strike, but this one was all Ice Holes, the whole game. Wow…no penalties in this one.

Komets 6 Snipers 5

Well Defense was forsaken in this one. Komets were completely dominating this one, then the Snipers started roaring back. Michael Gallagher and Sean Kier had the Komets up 2-nil, but Lee Miller’s goal for the Snipers made looked to make this into a game again. Komets then pulled away on three strikes from Alex Atkins, Bruce Frankel, and Kier’s second of the night. Again, Miller and Atkins would trade goals as the score sat at 6-2 Komets going into the third. Then the Snipers started playing. Alex Eyesermans, Jesse Henderson, and Joe Tomme score for the Snipers in what looked to be the greatest meltdown to occur in I league History. However Komets survived the Snipers assault led by Tom Yockey?!?! WTF? Who had an assist in the snipers rally…that’s funny. From Head Referee in the game, Chris Skupien, when asked about Yockey’s play, “I didn’t even know he was out there, the sucking level looked to be level across the board”.

Grave Diggers 3 Warriors 2 (SO)
Head Coach Dallas Lehr was fuming after this collapse from his warriors squad and almost fired himself in retaliation. Eric Johnson and Scott Dolbee scored for the Warriors for the 2-0 lead and the Warriors held the lead with a minute left to play in the game. Then the Grave Diggers mounted an epic comeback. The Letter A scored on a Cory Howard Assist, while Amy By/rum scored the game tying goal with 24 seconds left in the game. (We are just going on what was on Pointstreak. We heard warriors are protesting based on roster violation...yeah right, like yockey will do anything about it). After a scoreless OT, it was former Stingers great Rodney Murray on the shootout winner to complete the GD upset over the undefeated warriors. From Lehr, “There will be no media allowed to our next practice, that is how inhumane I am going to be to this team.”

Patriots 5 Stickmen 1

Much like their inspiration in New England, the Euless Patriots, keep winning games, and make it look easy. Butch Hutchinson was the hero in this one, and pulled a Jussi by putting up four goals and an Assist in a complete thrashing of the stickmen. The up and coming Junior “Caketown” Lindamood also had a tally on the night. Most notably was the hot Sabrina York whose play was damned near flawless in what was undoubtly her best game ever, knotting two assists in the win. Patriots have won a lot in a row. In the interest of fairness, Timothy Schmidt scored for the Stickmen in the losing cause.

Spiders 3 Komets 2 (SO)

Fresh off their almost meltdown, the Komets couldn’t hold off the Spiders in this one as they blow a 2-1 lead in the third. After a scoreless first period, it would be Jon Hale to score on a Michael Ginnard assist for the 1-0 lead. Alex Atkins and ringer Scottie Baldree then gave los komets a 2-1 lead with 9 minutes and change left in the third. According to Komets Sources, the following occurred midway through the period on a sudden debacle which had Rich Duval putting the puck in his own net, credit to Mallisa “Smiley” Daniels, tied the game and sent us to OT. After a scoreless frame, it would be the GREAT PETE CLARK! to get the winner for the surging spiders. Hoorah for Turkey!

Happy Thanksgiving Peeps!