Preview: Week 7

Must Win week is here for teams still vying for playoffs. Losers can go hide in a corner while the winners will be exalted.


Puckers vs. Shockers 6:30
Puckers are in need of a win to maintain their chase of the Title game. If the puckers team that has played the last few games shows up, it should be no problem. Shockers though had an all out offensive assault last week, we’ll see if Otto Bielss can roll another hat trick this week.

Leftovers vs. Brewzers 7:30
Brewzers should make quick work of a spunky leftovers squad, however if the leftovers are going to win a game this season, this would be the trap game. Jeff Vaughan says bring a flask to this game. Jen “S to the crappy” Leonard is said to have taken her vitamins before this one in search of her first hat trick.

Komets vs. Snipers 7:45
A huge game for the Komets as they will have to do battle with the Ken Halford goonery. Komets won a meeting between these two last seasons, but much has changed since that last meeting. Canadians are fired up about the Jeff Vaughan vs. Chris Gallagher matchup in this one. From Komets own Sean Kerr, “The Snipers are a fake, a fraud, a phony. I can’t believe this team won the keg last season.” Ouch, harsh. Snipers can get back into the keg game with a win, believe it or not.

Spiders-Plat vs. Fugaweez 8:45
Fugaweez are on a roll, and no thanks to epic goaltending. Rumor has it the Spiders will be shorthanded in this one. A Fugs win would continue to make the silver division interesting for another week. Mark Gragg is probably the most underrated players in the Silver Division. Fear him…and the New Orleans Saints.

Warriors vs. Borrachos 9pm
The Borrachos have found their groove and are looking to bury the dagger in the Warrior’s postseason hopes. From Warriors' ringer Dallas “TO” Lehr about the game, “Many can drink, but only one will win.” The Borrachos should take care of businesses if they play as well as they did last game. Super Ringer Sean Haley will be chugging beers as he skates up the ice. This will be the first time these two teams have met.

Spiders vs. Mayhem 10pm
After suffering losses to the Patriots and the Stingers, the season is on the line for the defending Gold Keg champs as they face a must win against the Spiders. The Spiders have held their own against the Gold Elite teams. However, John Pinnard should be making a return for Mayhem. From head coach Bobby Sirkis, “When I returned from my vacation, we practiced non stop for 83 hours, that will teach my boys the price of losing.” Spiders will also be without some of their D, which could be a problem against the Conner Brothers.

Stingers vs. Stickmen 10:15
The great Josh Briscoe will once again lead his mighty group of warriors into battle, this time, against a downtrodden Stickmen team. From Briscoe about the game, “If I was the stickmen, I wouldn’t even bother showing up.” (note: he really said this, not the fictional Briscoe) Polarizing. Stingers can clinch the top seed with a win, and they way they are rolling, it is debatable if anyone can beat this team of God. Stickmen will send Alex Eysermans as their secret weapon, but even his greatness might not be enough. Stingers underwear is now on sale in the proshop.

Patriots vs. Ice Holes 11:15
Patriots still are rolling with a glorious win last week. The defensive holy trinity will be unleashed yet again for the pats, and we expect nothing but mighty hockey. The Ice holes will have to put up at least 3-4 goals for a win Daniel “Scoreboard” Barr will make his return in this game, will the Skupiens be able to shut their D league teammate down? The Millennium Falcon will make the Kessel run in this showdown. For what its worth, the Pats shut the Holes down 3-0 last season. The Pats have already secured a playoff spot, as have the Spiders and Stingers, so one wonders how these teams will play.

Blue Devils Practice

Week 6 I league Recap

3 Stars
1. Otto Bielss: Shockers- 3 Goals, 2 Assists (GWG) Shockers 5-2 win
2. Matt Osbourne: Fugaweez- 2 Goals, Fugaweez 4-1 win.
3. Jack Stuckeman: Borrachos- 1 Goal, 1 Assist, Borrachos 6-2 win.

Honorable Mention: Roland Widmann: Stingers- 1 goal, 1 Assist, Stingers 4-2 win

Goalie of the week: Jesse Gonzales: 10 saves/10 Shots, shutout: Patriots 1-0 win. 24 saves/26 shots, 1 Assist: Borrachos 6-2 win.

Stingers 4 Mayhem 2
Obviously still feeling the effects of their loss to the Patriots, Mayhem drops another one, this time to a red hot stingers squad. Mayhem actually had the lead in this one, on a goal from Trevor Lichy and one from Robert Gullinese, both coming in the first period. Stingers would get a much needed goal late in the period from Roland Widmann to trim the Mayhem lead to one. The second period was all Stingers who fire off three goals. Euless hockey messiah Josh Briscoe scores on the prettiest play in I league thus far on a tic tack toe play from Mike Best and Jason “Werewolf” Isham. Also scoring on the night was Greg Carter on a the game winner via a nice play in front of the Mayhem net and Mike Best from Dan Finili and Widman for the fourth and final goal. From Briscoe after the game, “For all those interested, you can go to Mayhem’s new website at Mayhemblows.com”. Also discovered on the night was the secret to the Stingers success this season…..Team Underwear Sharing.

Patriots 1 Warriors 0
Patriots still feeling overjoyed by their glorious shutout win over Mayhem earlier in the season get yet another shutout, this time in abuse of the scrappy Warriors squad. In a game which could have been a lot worse, the Patriots missed several open nets and caught a couple pipes, not to mention Warriors keeper Phillip Talley played out of his mind in this game. Patriots outshot the Warriors 8-0 in the first, but still found themselves tied at 0-0. The Second and Third periods had more of the same, dominating Patriots hockey, with sporadic Warrior counterattacks, all snuffed out by Patriots goalie Jesse Gonzales. For the second straight week the Patriots found themselves in the extra period. It took 14 seconds into the frame before Nate Hodges scores on a sassy top shelf goal on a great Steve Benfield give and go play for the winner as the Patriots clinch a playoff spot. The Millennium Falcon is the official vehicle of the Patriots hockey club. The Sharma/Vaughan/Hodges Trinity once again worked wonders as they put a show on for the conveyors who watched the game.

Fugaweez 4 Brewzers 1
The Fugaweez are on fire as they win yet again to crawl within a game of 2nd place in the silver divison. Fugs get two goals from Matt Osbourne while Carl Thomson and Damon Lacey score in a game that was completely dominated by the Fugaweez. The score had a 4-0 fugs lead until Ken Thom scored for the Brewzers who are all but out of the Keg race. Great goaltending by Fugs keeper Creighton Bowsher, stops 15 of 16. Fear the Fugs.

Borrachos 6 Ice Holes 2
Borrachos win big in this one and look to have found their groove with a couple games left this season. Ice Holes actually had the lead on a Jason Junker goal, however it would be all Borrachos pretty much after that. Dan Stuckeman fires off a couple goals, followed up by Jim Stuckeman who got two more goals. Not to be outdone, Jaaaaaaaaaack “Where’s Zack” Stuckeman for the 5-1 lead. To cap the night off Sean “Super Ringer” Haley scores to complete the Borrachos’ massacre. Ice Holes get one more off a Steve Junker goal, but no more. Some people might say this game was dominated by ringers, however the non-ringer side of the borrachos had the best game of their careers as players like Todd Kilgore, John Cervantes, Igor Teplitsky and Steve Livesay (amongst others) actually touched, passed, shot and advanced the puck. We tip our cap to these warriors.

Puckers 2 Snipers 1
Puckers bounce right back from their tough loss last week to Chris Gallagher’s Komets, in a very good win over the snipers. Puckers still are within striking distance of the keg game, but have to play near perfect hockey the rest of the way to make it. Puckers started this one on a Rick Gregory goal from Chris Kirton and Gary Bodner. With under 2 minutes left in the period the snipers tied it on a Kevin Cook strike for the equalizer. The second period had the Puckers up for good on a goal from Steve Niekamp from Guy Riggs. This one would hold up for the game winner as Casey Jenkins denies 16 of 17 shots on the night. Snipers racked up a total of 18 minutes in penalties in this game, and Ken Halford wasn’t ejected? Shocking.


Spiders 4 Stickmen 1
Spiders stay pace with the Stingers with a solid win over the battle weary Stickmen. Stickmen actually had the lead in this one on a 90 foot shot from outside the blueline from Jesse “Dy-no-mite” Henderson. The lead would stay until the beginning of the second when Alex Adkins would get the tying goal. The third period would be all Spiders who get one from Andrew Patti and Kris Navarro, while Adkins would get his second late in the third. Stickmen tried using Ohio State Eye Black as a good luck charm in this game. From Alex Eysermans’ after the game regarding the makeup “I don’t know why we tried this gay idea. This one is worst than the time Jesse wanted us all to wear mini skirts on the ice.” Back to hockey…Spiders will have their hands full as they have to do battle with Mayhem.

Blue Devils 2 Leftovers 0
The outcome of this one was never in question really. The great David Ogle would score on a helper from Ray “Dancing Flamingo” Workman for an early 1-0 advantage. The evil empire would then get another one in the second, this time from the hot Gloria Buehl on a tremendous feed from Todd “Barry Bonds” Smith. Leftovers only threw 6 shots at the Blue Devils net, a pretty easy job for Phil Garlow. Blue Devils are still in complete control of their division and are only a couple wins short of making the keg game for the second straight season. Also in a transaction note, the Blue Devils have been having friendly negotiations with the Patriots in a cooperative agreement. One wonders what this means for the Silver Keg…

Shockers 5 Spiders Plat 2
Shockers get their first win of the season in a hard fought battle. The Shockers came loaded in this one as Otto Bielss gets the hat trick and two helpers while Bryan Voskuil gets two goals and two helpers of his own in the winning cause. Spiders tried to make a rally when trailing 3-0 in the third, getting two goals from Lynn Kresta. But a spiders team lacking Freeman and Hodges still lacked a punch seen in other games. Spiders Goalie: Nina Bonifaz battled like a champion, trying to hold her team in this one, but too much firepower for the shockers in this one.

Playoff Possibilites: With only a couple weeks left in the silver and one week left in the Gold, this is how things will be looking for the playoffs.

Gold Division: Patriots, Stingers, Spiders have secured a playoff spot. Question is where will they be seeded. Mayhem must win to clinch a spot, however the warriors aren’t out of the hunt yet, as a win over the borrachos and a mayhem loss gets the warriors into the dance.


Silver Division:

Blue Devils are sitting very nice right now with a great record, a slew of head to head tiebreakers and a mighty Goals Against stat. One win in their next two should get them into the keg game. However these two games are against the Komets and the Puckers. Not an easy Task.
Komets have an advantage for one, because of a game in hand they have over the Puckers and the Blue Devils. Also the Tiebreaker over the Puckers could be huge in the end. But a Snipers team bent on spoilers could mean trouble for Los Komets. Also, the komets have the Blue Devils and Fugaweez to deal with, two teams also in the championship hunt.
Puckers will have to win out for the most part to get into the keg game. Their loss to the Komets really hurt their keg chances, but this is a very talented team who could beat the Komets or Blue Devils if matched with.
Fugaweez are the hottest team in the league as they are scoring at will and have a pretty easy schedule ahead playing the Spiders Plat and Leftovers. However they have a finale against the Komets which would certainly have keg implications.