I League, week 5

Grave Diggers 2 Komets 1
We have heard conflicting reports that Bobby Sirkis came out of retirement to play I league, for the most part we can confirm they are true. GD had a battle with the scrappy komets as it was decided not until the third period. Grave Diggers took the lead on a Corey Howard goal in the first. Komets struck on a goal from the great Mike Gallagher to knot the game at 1-1. Apparently goalie John Ellis scored the game winner…we know that’s a lie, but apparently a mishandle of the puck by komets goalie brett Bryant would cost the komets this one, as the GD improve to 4-2 on the season. Komets lost any shot of making the keg game by losing this one.

Ice Holes 1 Stickmen 0
This was like watching the NY Giants vs Baltimore Ravens superbowl in 1997…ugh. Ice holes score their first and only goal early on an Andrea Cortinas shot from Greg Durante. You would think in a game this tight, there would be a lot of penalties…but nope…one flippin penalty the whole game…what was this??? Doug Taylor gets the shutout as he kicks aside all 16 shots he faced while David Blubaugh caught the rough end of it as he faced 22, but let in that one early. Ice Holes still in the hunt for a playoff shot. Stickmen were just happy ohio state squeaked into the national championship…were they’ll get obliterated by LSU. HA!

Blue Devils 4 Puckers 1
Blue Devils win with by far their best game of the season in this crushing victory. BDs were passing, shooting; setting plays up…it almost looked like the patriots out there. Danny Flynn scored the best goal we have ever seen since the US beat the Soviets back in the day for his first career goal ever. Steve Niekamp reminded the Blue Devils they were still I leaguers as he deceptively caught the BDs napping. Coach Nate Hodges then cursed out his entire team and threatened to ground them from Beer. They started shooting and scoring. The great Todd “New England Patriots own you all” Smith scored from ringer Mike Drago, while Clint Wacker and Chris Zoll scored to put this one out of reach. Big story of the night was the BDs scoring as many goals as the Puckers had shots. 49 to 4 was the shot count, what was even more amazing was the fact the BDs took no penalties…holy…

Spiders 2 Brewzers 1
Spiders have randomly come out of nowhere and find themselves tied for second in the league. This was a good one that we wish we would have seen, because these two teams pretty much played each other again later on that night. Spiders first goal was scored by the letter A, for a 1-nil lead. Brewzers equalized it from a goal from the semi-average Jamil Jabri. In the third though it would be Arvin Manalo form Kurt Kresta on the game winner late to seal the win. More on these players later…

Patriots 5 Warriors 0
In what was supposed to be I league’s version on Patriots vs Colts, turned into more of Patriots vs Bills. Patriots were concerned over what Dallas Lehr might bring to the table in this pivotal game of powerhouses. In what was for the most part a checking game, the Patriots established their will and did what they do best: Win. Cory “Shoot the J” Howard scored off a Butch Hutchinson centering feed, while Bryan “Paul Coyne” Brookman’s breakaway goal broke the will of the Warriors in the 2nd while Roy Haenselmann scored on a Junior Lindamood assist in the same frame. In the third, warriors stepped up their physicality, patriots kept scoring. Brad Allen scored off a Haenselmann assist, while Cory Howard made it rain at end with his second of the night from Les York. From warriors coach Dallas Lehr, “I probably shouldn’t have made this team skate suicides before the game, but one thing is sure, everyone is fired. Blow the damn team up”.

Snipers 5 Spiders 4 (SO)
We did see this one and it was a freakin gem. In a game reffed by his Majesty Tom Yockey, we saw celebrations, goals and brawls…as is just and right for hockey. First period alone had four goals: Pete Clark and Evan Callahan for the Spiders, while Tom Buckner and Rob Mustell for the snipers. 2nd period was the Rob Mustell show as he threw two more in for his hat trick on the night. Spiders then fought back in the third as the letter A scored and Clark got his second of the night for the equalizer. After a scoreless OT, cue the shootout. A freakin 20 person shootout occurred with sweet goals, dumb misses and awesome celebrations. It would be the Great Jennifer Leonard who absolutely undressed goalie John Ellis Jussi Jokeinen style to win it for the Snipers. It may have been the greatest goal ever scored, and the celebration ten times as great. Huzzah!

Buy me an I phone for Christmas!


the fake olson refing an NFL game...