Sunday pickup

Since the website isn't updated, we just checked ... pickup tomorrow morning is 10:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m.

Given the hour, it should be packed, so show up early.

bc

Week 8 Preview/Player Profile/Scoring leaders

It has come down to the last game before playoffs. What an exciting season it’s been. Ringers, Whores, Vaughan, Haley, Your Mom, Olson, Beer Hikes, Sirkis…the list goes on. Here’s a look at what we got this weekend in the last regular season games.

Mayhem vs Komets: 7:15 Gold
A slaughter is in store for this one. We have heard that the Patriots will NOT be supplying troops to halt the spread of Red Mayhem Communism for this game. This must really be genocide in the works then. But here’s to the Komets pulling the greatest upset of ever.
Heck if the komets win, and a couple key losses happen in the night, komets are in the keg game. Wierd.

Fugaweez vs Shockers 8pm Green
For the third time this season these teams do battle. The “rubber match” of this one. Shockers won the first, Fugs won the second, who takes the third?

Ice Holes vs Borrachos 8:30pm Gold
Ice Holes need a win to stay in the keg hunt, Borrachos would love nothing more than to break the hearts of Ice Holes fans everywhere. Sean “Johnny Ringo” Haley will be looking for trouble before the game out back.

Stingers vs Blue Devils 9:15pm Green
After being renued by his Hat Trick last week, Josh Briscoe promises death and carnage in this game. The Stingers still haven’t used their one “Free Point” for having the Kick Arse jerseys. Will said point be used in this one? Todd Smith has promised victory.

Leftovers vs Stickmen 9:45pm Gold
Stickmen should easily win this one. What more do we need to say?

Brewzers vs Patriots: 10:30pm Green
Patriots are in the keg game with a win. The Brewzers chances of making the Silver keg are slim. Patriots need not over look this scrappy Brewzers team.

Snipers vs Slackers: 11pm Gold
Snipers are said to call up some people from their minor league team the Huntsville Prison Hounds to play because the snipers are resting their big guns for the keg game next week.

Puckers vs Spiders 11:45pm Green
Puckers are on fire. Spiders aren’t. Can Chris Gallagher do his impersonation of Sidney Crosby and carry his team to victory? Or will it be the Dallas “TO” Lehr Show?



Player Profile: Jeff Vaughan
We sat down with league MVP candidate and all around nice guy Jeff Vaughan and threw easy softball questions at him.

Q: So where did you develop your “Hammer of Thor” slapshot?
A. When I was a young lad growing up in the mountains of eastern Siberia chopping lumber for a living, we played hockey with the bones of our slain enemies. I learned alot there.

Q: What is best in life?
A: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of the women.

Q: What is your advice for people get better in hockey?
A: I think most people should look to Sergie Zubov: After every game, drink 44 oz of Colt 45 and smoke about three packs. Do this, and you’ll be the best defenseman of all time.

Q: What is your favorite hockey memory?
A: When I slew a thousands philistines with the jaw bone of an ass then scored a hat trick from center ice…with my eyes closed…skating towards my own net.

Q:How much sleep do you get a night on average?
A: I don’t sleep, I wait.

Q: What do you think of the I league in Euless:
A: It’s been a good program, but then the hockey whores started showing up. It’s pretty much become like the south Jersey docks here on Saturday nights now.

Q: Is it true you are going to kill BAC Nate Hodges when he is no longer of value on the patriots?
A: I am going to kill him for doing this stupid interview. Your days are numbered nate.



and finaly, scoring leader updates...

Week 7 I league: Snipers Secure/Patriots Leading...

Only one game remains before playoffs, only few precious spots remain for the might that is the battle who decides who lifts Lord Stanley's Keg...The Patriots have gained a foothold on the Gold Division while the Snipers have wrapped up a bid for a big game...

Three Stars
1. Jesse Henderson-Stickmen: 3 Goals, 1 Assist (Stickmen 5-1 win)
2. Josh Briscoe-Stingers: 3 Goals (Stingers 8-4 win)
3. Brian Conner-Mayhem: 2 Goals, 1 Assist (Mayhem 5-3 win)
Honorable Mention: Jeff Vaughan-Patriots: 2 Goals (Patriots 3-0 win)

Goalie of the Week: Jesse Gonzales: Patriots: 15 saves on 15 shots. 1 Assist. Shutout. Patriots 3-0 win.


Mayhem 5 Borrachos 3
Mayhem starts off strong with a 3-0 lead going into the second period, but had to fight and claw to survive a surging Borrachos squad for the 5-3 victory. Mayhem’s always dangerous Conner brothers scored a total of 3 goals and 2 assists on the night, while John “Iowa Stars” Pinnard and the great Greg Mersberger hit the back of the net for Mayhem. The Borrachos did make the game interesting with I League scoring leaders Jim Stuckeman and Shawn “Johnny Ringo” Haley, who both scored as did Doug Hamelwright. Mayhem will face the Komets next week, while the Borrachos will face the angered Ice Holes.

Patriots 3 Ice Holes 0
The Patriots gained posession of the top spot on the Gold division with one game left with a 3-0 shutout of the previously undefeated Ice Holes. Patriots dominated this one for the most part as the great Jeff Vaughan once again amazed the world with 2 goals while Rahul “Awesometown” Sharma added another one. Jesse Gonzales looked up to the task by not only getting the shutout, but also notching an assist on the Sharma goal. Ice Holes couldn’t get momentum in the Patriots zone for any real part of the game, while the Patriots sent attack after attack into the Ice Holes’ part of the ice.

Fugaweez 4 Blue Devils 2
The free world rejoiced as the Fugaweez knocked off the Evil Empire, aka Blue Devils with a 4-2 victory which wasn’t decided until late third period. BD struck first on a Mark Cameron goal, but the Fugaweez would answer right back on Carl Moser’s goal. It remained tied until late in the third when the Fugs won the momentum battle with a huge goal from David Osbourn for a 2-1 lead. Fugs would then get a much needed empty net insurance marker from Matt Osborne with 30 seconds left. Diablo Azul would get scrappy and find a way to score with 17 seconds left to make it a 3-2 game. But the game was iced by an empty netter by Osbourne with almost no time left as the Fugs continue to look better as the season concludes. Bobby Michaelidies looked like a champion in this one, especially in the closing seconds where a bombardment of Blue Devils shots rained down. Props also give to Tom Cox for only giving up 2 goals on 17 shots. This one was chippy and very entertaining to watch. Gloria Buelle is an offensive fighting machine.

Stingers 8 Shockers 4
An offensive escapade of doom in this game. Josh Briscoe gets the Hat Trick, while Roland Widmann, Robin Burkahart, Greg Carter, Rick White, and Scott Childress all score for the Stingers. The Shockers were almost as equally up to the task as Jason Howell scores twice, alsont with goals from Sandra Main and Nick McMacken. The game was actually competitive at the end of the 2nd with the score 3-2 Stingers. However the goals flowed in the third for the Stingers as they lit the lamp five times.

Komets 6 Spiders 4
Komets put up big numbers in this one and send the Spiders reeling in a “New NHL” style game. The Spiders actually held the 2-1 advantage going into the third on goals by Chris Gallagher and David Richardson while the Komets first period goal came from Bruce Frankle. The Komets must have taken steroids between the 1st and 2nd periods as they rattle off 4 goals in the second frame. Melissa Ross, Dustin Nation, Mike Bresnahan, and Sean Kerr all lit the lamp for the Komets. Los Komets would extend it to a 6-1 advantage on a strike from Dustin “Barbarian” Nation. Spiders would rally on Gallagher’s second goal and Chris Nicollette’s goal to make it 6-4, but the rally would stop short. Believe it or not, the Komets have a shot at the Keg. Yes…we can’t believe it either. More on that later…

Stickmen 5 Brewzers 1
Brewzers hurt their chances at getting to the Silver Keg game with a big loss to the Stickmen. Stickmen were up 3-0 after the first off two goals from Jesse Henderson and one from Jim "O’Reilly?". It would reach 5-0 as Henderson got his third and "Ken" added a tally. However apparently the stickmen would be without a goalie after the three minute mark as there were fisticuffs involving goalie and player, we don’t know what happened here. Needless to say, the Brewzers got one, but couldn’t hit an open net over the course of three minutes. Mike Moore was absolutely pummeled with shots in this one as he faces 17 shots alone in the first and 31 overall. Where’s the defense lads? Brewzers task to make it to the keg game gets no simpler as they take on the Patriots next week.

Puckers 3 Slackers 1
This one was ALL puckers. Rob Constantine gets two goals and Kevin Luckenhoff adds one for the Puckers’ three goals, while Jason Lamen gets the lone Slackers goal. Puckers threw 35 Shots on Slackers Goalie Jason Jones who kicked 32 of those out. Phenomenal. A shortened Slackers bench probably had something to do with a lack of offensive punch. One would be wise to fear the puckers if they play like this next season.

Snipers 3 Leftovers 0
The Snipers officially have clinched a spot in the Silver Keg Game (congrats boys) with their 3-0 blanking of the lowly Leftovers. Tom James had a first period score for the Snipers while Tom Buckman had two goals in the 2nd period. Brett Fitch had two helpers in this one. Patrick Donaghue gets the shutout win for the Snipers as he kicks aside all 11 shots he faces on the night. The Snipers will wait with anticipation as to who their opponent will be on April 7th for the Silver Championship.

Keg Scenarios: With one game left, we still have an open Champioship game race.

Gold
Right now all three teams have beaten each other in a bizarre three way tie. (Mayhem over Patriots. Ice Holes over Mayhem. Patriots over Ice Holes). Head to head tiebreakers are pretty much out the window as are fewest losses and most wins. Goal Differential will be what decided who goes to the Gold Keg Game.

Patriots: Currently hold first place based on Goal Differential over Mayhem and Ice Holes. A win against the Brewzers and a higher GD will hold their spot in 1st or 2nd. An Ice Holes loss this weekend puts the Patriots in the Keg game.

Mayhem: Hold second place based on GD over the Ice Holes. Mayhem would needs a win and to hold a higher GD over the Ice Holes to make the Keg or a Patriots loss.

Ice Holes: Play the Borrachos this Saturday and would need a sizeable win, a win and patriots loss, or mayhem loss to make the keg game.


Silver
The Snipers are already in the Keg Game, they await the #2 team.

Blue Devils: Have the Best chance as they play the Stingers in a very tough game. A win, and the devils are in. However, they can still make it with a loss, but they would need a Brewzers loss against the Patriots and Komets loss against Mayhem (both very possible things).

Brewzers: Need a Blue Devils loss against the Stingers and will need to beat the Patriots. They hold a head to head tiebreaker over the Komets.

Komets: If the ultimate Cinderella story is to unfold here, a miracle must take place. The Komets must first beat Mayhem, then the Blue Devils would have to lose to the Stingers and the Brewzers would have to fall to the Patriots. (again, the later two are very possible, but Komets would have to pull a miracle to beat Mayhem). If the Komets do beat mayhem and get to the keg…one must remember the Komets beat the Snipers earlier in the season….oh dear!

Still to come this week:
-Scoring Leaders
-I League Player Profile
-Beer Fiasco Continued: Euless gets Duncanville's Beer Nazi.


Polarizing....we know