Friday, March 30, 2007

Week 8 Preview/Player Profile/Scoring leaders

It has come down to the last game before playoffs. What an exciting season it’s been. Ringers, Whores, Vaughan, Haley, Your Mom, Olson, Beer Hikes, Sirkis…the list goes on. Here’s a look at what we got this weekend in the last regular season games.

Mayhem vs Komets: 7:15 Gold
A slaughter is in store for this one. We have heard that the Patriots will NOT be supplying troops to halt the spread of Red Mayhem Communism for this game. This must really be genocide in the works then. But here’s to the Komets pulling the greatest upset of ever.
Heck if the komets win, and a couple key losses happen in the night, komets are in the keg game. Wierd.

Fugaweez vs Shockers 8pm Green
For the third time this season these teams do battle. The “rubber match” of this one. Shockers won the first, Fugs won the second, who takes the third?

Ice Holes vs Borrachos 8:30pm Gold
Ice Holes need a win to stay in the keg hunt, Borrachos would love nothing more than to break the hearts of Ice Holes fans everywhere. Sean “Johnny Ringo” Haley will be looking for trouble before the game out back.

Stingers vs Blue Devils 9:15pm Green
After being renued by his Hat Trick last week, Josh Briscoe promises death and carnage in this game. The Stingers still haven’t used their one “Free Point” for having the Kick Arse jerseys. Will said point be used in this one? Todd Smith has promised victory.

Leftovers vs Stickmen 9:45pm Gold
Stickmen should easily win this one. What more do we need to say?

Brewzers vs Patriots: 10:30pm Green
Patriots are in the keg game with a win. The Brewzers chances of making the Silver keg are slim. Patriots need not over look this scrappy Brewzers team.

Snipers vs Slackers: 11pm Gold
Snipers are said to call up some people from their minor league team the Huntsville Prison Hounds to play because the snipers are resting their big guns for the keg game next week.

Puckers vs Spiders 11:45pm Green
Puckers are on fire. Spiders aren’t. Can Chris Gallagher do his impersonation of Sidney Crosby and carry his team to victory? Or will it be the Dallas “TO” Lehr Show?



Player Profile: Jeff Vaughan
We sat down with league MVP candidate and all around nice guy Jeff Vaughan and threw easy softball questions at him.

Q: So where did you develop your “Hammer of Thor” slapshot?
A. When I was a young lad growing up in the mountains of eastern Siberia chopping lumber for a living, we played hockey with the bones of our slain enemies. I learned alot there.

Q: What is best in life?
A: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of the women.

Q: What is your advice for people get better in hockey?
A: I think most people should look to Sergie Zubov: After every game, drink 44 oz of Colt 45 and smoke about three packs. Do this, and you’ll be the best defenseman of all time.

Q: What is your favorite hockey memory?
A: When I slew a thousands philistines with the jaw bone of an ass then scored a hat trick from center ice…with my eyes closed…skating towards my own net.

Q:How much sleep do you get a night on average?
A: I don’t sleep, I wait.

Q: What do you think of the I league in Euless:
A: It’s been a good program, but then the hockey whores started showing up. It’s pretty much become like the south Jersey docks here on Saturday nights now.

Q: Is it true you are going to kill BAC Nate Hodges when he is no longer of value on the patriots?
A: I am going to kill him for doing this stupid interview. Your days are numbered nate.



and finaly, scoring leader updates...


29 comments:

Anonymous said...

LMAO! Great stuff!


#76

Anonymous said...

LMAO!

I can not wait to see a comment in russian language on the interview with Mr. Jeff Vaughan and BAC..."chopping lumber for living:-)))

#17

Anonymous said...

Nate, thanks for saving us money.

Closed casket funerals are less expensive.

Anonymous said...

if komets (mayem) and brewzers (patriots) both win, who makes it in?

Anonymous said...

Your Mom...

Anonymous said...

how does my mom make it in?

Anonymous said...

nice triple fake interview. i can't decide who i hate more you or those damn philistines.

Anonymous said...

She doesn't....I make in your mom

Blog Alternate Captain said...

Tie Breaking Things...


If BD: in keg game with win
Brewzers: In with Win, BD loss
Komets: In with win, BD loss, Brewzers Loss.

(Brewzers have head to head tiebreaker over komets)

btw...we're trying to talk to demetri, our source inside Moscow, he is said to have an interview with Jeff Vaughan giving the thumbs up next to the tomb of lenin.

Anonymous said...

"The Stingers still haven’t used their one “Free Point” for having the Kick Arse jerseys". BAC -- you're the man for remembering that!

Anonymous said...

Yo BC or BAC I need a goalie for the Shockers game sat. 8:00pm. Can you help a brother out? Know of anybody?

Anonymous said...

call matt skupien....he beat the mayem

Anonymous said...

Matt Skupien isn't 18 years old.
This is an adult league. He isn't an adult.

Anonymous said...

What's a hockey whore?

Anonymous said...

"Matt Skupien isn't 18 years old.
This is an adult league. He isn't an adult."

Don't tell us that, all of a sudden, we're going to let a little thing like rules interfere...

Anonymous said...

Who cares if he ain't 18? You affaird to lose to a kid? No, but seriously how do I get ahold of this "Skupien" kid? Hey if he can't play cause of his age does that mean Mayhem's only loss(Iceholes- Skupien played in net) doesn't count? That would put us in the KEG baby! Na, just kidding we wouldn't want it that way.

Blog Alternate Captain said...

Skupien has played in other games.
We dont have his contact info, but Bobby Sirkis does

Anonymous said...

BAC, I got word that Puckers Vs. Snipers is at 6:30pm, u got confrimation on that???

Anonymous said...

lmao! great job as always nate!! nice to come here and see somebody having fun. people have been taking this whole i league thing WAY TOO SERIOUS!! let's all get over ourselves and just play some damn hockey! "the weez-keeper"

Anonymous said...

To: T.O. the Hockey Ho:

Puckers play Spiders @ 6:45 pm. Knute rescheduled it last Wednesday.

Pucker#21

Anonymous said...

I prefer to be called a hockey slut since I don't pay for more than my one session of hockey.




#89

Blog Alternate Captain said...

We havent been forwarded any times personaly, but we trust the word of TO.

Call Euless DPSC to make sure game times are spoken truthfully.

Anonymous said...

Hey Nate, this is Scott from the Komets... I see Bresnahan, Nation, and Cappers all on the leaderboard, but I dont understand why my name is missing. I have 1 goal and 4 assists to date. Thanks!

Blog Alternate Captain said...

Do you? We only count you with 1 goal and 3 assists.
Be wary, assists can get screw when it comes to the score sheet

Unknown said...

I do. I had 3 assists going into the last game and then had a goal and an assist versus the Spiders. If it's a problem changing, dont worry about it.

Jesse Gonzales said...

Hey Nate did you count my assist from the Patriots game last week?

Blog Alternate Captain said...

um, yea. Did you not read the summaries?

Anonymous said...

#89

Whores don't pay they get paid - that's what makes it professional.

Sluts give it away

paying for it is just plain desperate - unless it's hockey then it's just a fact of life for most of us. Getting extra for what you pay for is a bonus and is a step above of just getting what you pay for.

The question is whether it's the quantity of hockey or the the quality of hockey you're after.

Either way you are hockeyphile (suffixes with the common part -phil- (-phile, -philia, -philic) are used to specify some kind of attraction or affinity to something, in particular the love or obsession with something.)

NTGN (not the Grammar Nazi)

Anonymous said...

I'm a hockeyphile....I like it often and rough. I enjoy gripping my long hard shaft.......slapping at around.......then after playing around with it for a minute to a minute and a half, getting off a good hard shot between the legs...of the gaolie. Jesse, did this do anytihng for you?




#89