More Tom Foolery!

I just returned from Lake Arlington where I had a Viking funeral for the passing of billy mayes as well as the brewzers season. Has the blog been updated?? no...Again, more….

Ellis Fail!

I league.

Whalers 4 Warriors 3

This game was awesome…. I mean I didn’t see it, but I’m just saying. And I can’t tell who the hero is in this game, perhaps Ben Shooley? Idk. Greg Mata redeems himself from his mistakes last week and outlasts the great bobby michaelides in OT. What a nail biter. Props to John Erickson for keeping the warrior close. Clark Sandlin needs to sell cotton candy at the rink, it would amuse me.

Soul Patch 4 Silverwings 3

Carlos Badillo had such a great game on Saturday he decided to get in a long police chase on Monday down 635. A solid hat trick added on to by a Brad Aho goal is one too many for the silverwings as head coach Jason Neal was too busy eating dunkaroos on the bench to put an extra skater on the ice in the final minute. Ryan Kelly taps it twice while brian smith adds one in the losing cause. Jason hollaway = solid netminder. Eric Spivey = Wishes he could do the safety dance.

Brewzers 7 Grave Diggers 6

If the NHL wants to see how it can increase scoring in the league, it should just watch the game film from this defensive embarrassment. Steven Collyard goes ballistic and puts up four goals and a helper for the Brewzers while the always dangerous Dennis Sutton adds two in the process including the game winner in ot. Not to be outdone, the grave diggers hung in there with goals from Randy Chappell, Tim “old man” rivers, and the great Billy Quinn. According to sources at the game, a UFC fight broke out in the third period. Tsk Tsk.

Shockers 5 Puckers 2

Fear the shocker? Balanced scoring, good defense, decent net minding. Not too shabby. Shockers got out of the gate first with a 2-0 lead with goals from Scott and Nick McMacken. Puckers use Rob Constantine (who has been a pucker since the dawn of time) to make it a one goal deficit, but hope is lost when Erick Yepez and Scott McMackin light the lamp for the 4-1 advantage. Both teams would then trade a goal, but this one was never really in question. Note: Ginger Parker – Tripping 10:46 of the 2^nd period. Sorry =)

LSI 5 Snipers 3

Another high scoring festival. The great linda mason carries the LSI with two goals and a helper while peter case, cody woodard, and Catherine levesque all help the cause with goals. Snipers Kevin cook and alex eyesermans tried to make it interesting while Ed Vogel was seen riding a stationary bike on the bench between shifts in preparation for his later Blue Devils game. The story of the night was Mason vs Vaughan in a bitter rivalry between hitman all stars. Mason thoughts after the game, “Jeff still has a lot to learn.” Vaughan’s response, “I was playing left handed, sorry”…Christopher McPhereson is the luckiest goalie of all time.

Seriously how many flippin I league games are there….ugh

Blue Devils 3 Mutineers 0.

Mutineers outshoot BD’s 31 to 19, but BDs carry the day. Hmmm….Blubaugh saves the day again. Blue Devils continue the domination of the I division on goals from David Ogle, Martin Berryman and Attorney at Law Todd Smith. Word has it Ryan Haley suffered a pretty nasty injury in this one. Get better! Notes from the game: Bruce Frankel has apparently returned to his home at Euless, welcome back sir and Cory Howard was seen chilling on the bench with his grape drink. Oh and Val is a goon.

Spiders 4 Stickmen 3

A battle for the 2^nd period leads the Spiders to a close victory. Heather and Rober Gray (relation?) both score and Andrew Patti scores twice for the arachnids. Sticks get goals from Listman, Thomas, and Young. Doesn’t really matter who scored, Jeremy Brown is the Ayatollah Khomeini in this game (wow).

Looks like BDs, Sticks, Free Willie and Soul Plane get the nod for playoffs? Idk, ask yockey.

SND

Komets 12 Canadians 1

Billy Ashman is the Shamwow guy of Euless Hockey. The dude puts up two goals and three helpers. Amazing. This unholy massacre started in the first and just kept going. Komets put up as many Goals and Canadians had Shots. Pwned.

Other notable players on the night: Tim Martinez…sorry your last name was spelled wrong at birth… 2 goals and 1 assist, Scott Baldree with two goals and a helper, Graham Dunlap with a hat trick and an assist, Chris Gallagher No Goal, No Assists and Mike Crook = Fail. Komets insist it was retaliation for the Canadians cheating at bingo a couple weeks ago. WHERE IS RODNEY FOREHAND!?

vladimir putin knows how to party

Privateers 6 Ice Bats 1

So the privateers have continue their quest of world domination, however this time the gamblers rejoiced as over/under in this one ends up being less than 15. Young Kim ‘roided up for this game and hits 2G,2A, while Joel Bush also tallies the same amount of points. Gus Mask and newly signed dallas star Brian Zientek both add to the mix. Ice Bats….well, they tried? This one seemed to be exciting as a John McCain hip hop video.

Blue Devils 4 Patriots 3

A battle for the ages. The patriots lone hope for salvation this season, dashed against a rock. Blue devils start the game off with Nate Hodges’ jihad run to the net where Chase Hannah buries the rebound. Pats counter on a nice top shelf -water bottle- destroying wrister from Jeff Eagle, not to mention epic battles in the corner. In the 2^nd Jeff Vaughan unleashes a nuke from center ice that defeats blubaugh for the pats only lead of the game. Third period features both sides throwing everything at the nets. John Ellis was determined to make this his moment of triumph with save after save. Patriots had their chance with a mid period 5-3 powerplay, but to no avail. Hannah then makes Red Sox/Blue Devil Nation rejoice with a game tying goal in the last frame to send us into extra time. After a dramatic OT a shootout looms where Hannah would send Ellis into retirement forever with the go ahead goal. Daniel “dan-dano” Barr comes in to tie the shootout but hits the post, game over. Blubaugh and Ellis console each other at center ice.

Looks like Pirates and Flying Space Rock battle for the Championship.

oh no....

Last saturday's recap...enjoy.

Since Ellis is dumb and too busy reading his romance novels, here’s last week’s recap from yours truly. Granted games are being played right now as we speak….hopefully it just stirs up bitterness.

I-league

Whalers (6-3-0) 0
Shockers (5-3-1) 1
Epic Goalie battle between jesse gonzales (wtf??) and Greg Mata. Greg Mata chooses poorly on one shot and loses the game. What a noob. Wil Dobson says who's your daddy and throws up the shocker to the Whalers Bench as he gets the game’s only goal. Nice.


Warriors (5-3-1) 4
Soul Patch (5-2-1) 3
A fun game to watch if you like cartoons. This game featured scoring, penalties, coaches (STEVE FRY!!) getting penalties, and a shootout. Oh my. Warriors find themselves up 2-1 after first period. Goals are traded in the 2^nd and in the third, Soul Patch proves they are not “a hoe” short as Brad scores in mighty fashion to send the game to the extra frame. The shootout shows army great Dereck Tillemans gets the winner and the Warriors celebrate good times, come on.


Blue Devils I (7-1-1) 5
Snipers (4-3-1) 1
SND blue devils may be treading water, but the I league BDs are still kicking people in the teeth. Apparently the Phantoms decided to play and Jay Peters and Cory Howard put up goals in the first (the hell??) Spellman adds to the Empire’s lead while Peters decided to be like his hero Jonathan Cheechoo and decides to have a multi point game. Snipers thought they would be cool and score a goal…no, dumb, BDs make a mockery and add another one for the facial.


Mutineers (3-6-0) 3
Brewzers (1-8-0) 0
Mutineers get their first goal from ringer Patrick Haley and don’t look back. Robert Massengale and Erick Ahlstedt (worst last names ever) add to the lead and this one isn’t even close. Matt Sexton sandbags it and gets the shutout, neat.


Stickmen (7-1-1) 8
LSI (4-4-0) 3


Jeff Vaughan can’t save LSI. Stickmen fire continuous barrages of goals in every period, which proved too much for little LSI to recover from. Steff Trapp is a Bad A@# and puts up 2 goals and 3 assists (when did he get awesome??) LSI did get goals from Vaughan, Mason and Thompson on the night. Steve Mccollister was pretty much amazing in this one.

Grave Diggers (0-5-3) 0
Silverwings (3-6-0) 2
Bryan Brookman got the @*&#& checked out of him by Rebecca Janis, that’s all that matters in this game. Ryan Kelly is awesome and gets both goals and the adequate Eric Spivey nails gets the shutout.
Get better Rebecca!!!!

Spiders (5-3-1) 3
Puckers (6-2-1) 1

Dear Yockey, no more midnight game, thanks.

Humanity

Pete Clark, Andrew Patti, and William Wessel score goals, Casey Jenkins makes it close in the end, not really. Jeremy Brown was caught watching a video on his iphone during the game. Lucky. Props to Patrick Donaghue who kept the puckers in this game. Spot on.

Oh and here was Ellis’ recap….how cool…
The Spiders stomp the Puckers early, three goals, all in the first period. Pete Clark

SND

Komets (7-1-1) 2
Patriots (1-8-0) 1
Oh ellis, there there. Euless’ white knight still can’t seem to get his swagga back . Though I’ll be nice as the Pats offense just couldn’t get the job done. The great former I league lord Dan Barr realizes it isn’t college baseball and can’t put up more than one goal. Komets get all they need from Wil Dobson and the mysterious john Thompson. Apparently Brian Panice is a sack.


Privateers (8-0-1) 15
Canadiens (3-5-1) 6
This game is full of debauchery and shame. Privateers scored more with kids than Michael Jackson on a rainy night. Brian Zientek, fresh off a try-out with the bramahs, puts up a hat trick and an assist. And Robert Massengale also puts up a hatty. Oh and Tony Fizzano puts up three as well. While we’re on the subject of hat tricks, Scott Haman gets one for the Canadians. Some other dudes scored in this one too. I will give the privateers props for taking only one penalty in this one while the Canadians thought it would be cool to start meleing people. Terrible. Considering Jeff Bohl was the ref, this one just bleeds drama. I love you all!


Ice Bats (4-3-2) 3
Blue Devils (4-4-1) 4

Again, flippin midnight games are gay tom yockey. Charlie “I wear my hats sideways” Henie scores the first BD goal then a flip flop of goals occur for both sides. Andrew Latham and Chris Hale make it happen in the 2^nd for the Bats and Martin Berryman and Jay Peters retaliate in the same frame. Latham scores in the third and we go to extra time. Quckily into OT, Jay Peters runs a pick and roll at center ice, refs don’t see it and Daryl Wieland hits the breakaway and scores a sexy top shelf goal for the winner. Blubaugh made epic saves in this game.

If ellis doesn’t have today’s recap done by Sunday night, I’m writing it again. Why? Idunno.

Grab a Fajita!

I intend to finish this tonight. . . I have to go save a couple of old ladies from an overflowing drain, my job never ends.

I-league

Whalers (6-3-0) 0
Shockers (5-3-1) 1



Warriors (5-3-1) 4
Soul Patch (5-2-1) 3



Blue Devils I (7-1-1) 5
Snipers (4-3-1) 1



Mutineers (3-6-0) 3
Brewzers (1-8-0) 0



Stickmen (7-1-1) 8
LSI (4-4-0) 3



Grave Diggers (0-5-3) 0
Silverwings (3-6-0) 2



Spiders (5-3-1) 3
Puckers (6-2-1) 1

The Spiders stomp the Puckers early, three goals, all in the first period. Pete Clark

SND

Komets (7-1-1) 2
Patriots (1-8-0) 1



Privateers (8-0-1) 15
Canadiens (3-5-1) 6



Ice Bats (4-3-2) 3
Blue Devils (4-4-1) 4

Retirement Looming

I-league

Silverwings (2-6-0) 1
LSI (4-3-0) 8

The beautiful Linda Mason unleashes her pythons with the first goal of an LSI onslaught. Jason Rogers received no memo on the way the game was to play out and scores the lone Silverwing tally. Andrew Pope cancels Rogers and Ken Lentz adds to the Imports' lead with two in a row. Tim Thompson gets in line followed by Cody Woodard and in the third Catherine Levesque claims hers and Pope gets his second. I'm searching the score sheet but it appears I did not play in this game (one of very few this Saturday).

Shockers (4-3-1) 0
Blue Devils I (6-1-1) 5

I did get to deliver this stinker, though. Mark Millard and Neal Wacker both score late in the first and the Shockers were sent reeling. The lone second period goal belongs to David Ogle and in the third the BDI's continue raining on the Shocker parade, the latest of the Wacker clan to join the blue and black grabs another goal and the final minute of the game is filled with another Blue Devil goal, this one belongs to Martin Berryman. Blubaugh sees several quality scoring attempts in the final period legitimizing his shut-out.

Brewzers (1-7-0) 4
Soul Patch (5-2-0) 5

"Terrible" Tom Buckner leads the Brewzer charge but a couple of Patches, Kenneth Watkins and James McClelland reverse field for the Soul Patch lead. The Brewzers respond with another Buckner goal and, on the penalty kill, one from Steven Collyard to complete the scoreboard flip-flop. The pattern is broken when the Patches make their next run, starting with another goal from Watkins, followed by one from Donnie Marcontell for the lead and the cushion goal from Carlos Badello late in the third. So late in the third that the Brewzers can't find but one goal- Chris Leonard's, his hockey sabbatical over in time for this heartbreaking loss. The clinic is off?

Puckers (6-1-1) 2
Stickmen (6-1-1) 3

This was the epitome of I-league, just ask anyone in attendance. The Puckers take the lead with a goal from Jason Arias and add to it with a goal from Brian Cudaback. The Sticks find their legs with a goal from Jeff Thomas and tie the game with one from Kyle Rybak. The third period passes without a single goal and likewise the overtime period, the shoot-out looks to go in the same fashion as Shooter after so-called shooter turn back to the bench empty handed. It takes nearly both entire rosters before a goal from one of the Sticks finally decides the game, this apparently happened after the Scorer slipped into a coma.

Snipers (4-2-1) 5
Grave Diggers (0-4-3) 4

As all of the missing Diggers return from their vacations, it looked like a victory was only thirty-six minutes away and Tim Rivers does his part, putting his team out front. Manny Zamora ties the game for the Snipers but the Diggers return fire with a goal from the versatile Randy Chappel. Kendal Fries scores for the first time in my memory for the Sniper tie and sets-off a Sniper spree. Dennis Sutton lays one in for the Snipers and Nidal Jabri avenges his brother's still living memory with a lead padding goal. Chappel cannot be contained and cuts the lead to one and the only goal of the third ties the game for the Diggers - Bruce Davis, a la power play. Another long shoot-out exhibition finally yields a goal when , after ten shooters, Tom Buckner wins the game for his Snipers.

Spiders (4-3-1) 3
Whalers (6-2-0) 4

Yet another performance by yours truly ends in disaster. Brad Watson knocks in a cross crease pass for the first Whaler goal but the Spiders tie it up on the power play. The Whalers take the lead again with a goal from Josh Monaco, but William Wessel gets the equalizer. Monaco strikes again for the late Whaler lead, but the Spider power play yields a Carina Manalo goal that sends it to another shoot-out. Paul Thurston is the first and only scorer keeping the night a little younger with only eight shooters, and a Whaler victory.

Mutineers (2-6-0) 1
Warriors (4-3-1) 3

Chris Dolbee is the first Warrior to score and after a mere twenty minute his Dad joins him on the score sheet. John Swartzbaugh finally gets his Mutineers on the board, but it would prove to be the only goal in a sad effort from the 'Teer's farm team. In the final throes of the game Mac Miller drops another Warrior goal for the easy win. Ryan Haley plays one of her best games but gets no help from her offense.

SND

Patriots (1-7-0) 1
Canadiens (3-4-1) 4

Things looked promising, early on for the Pats, when Butch Hutchinson gets involved it usually creates a snowball, and he scores effortlessly on a quick breakout. In the final minute of the period, on the power play, the Cans get the tying goal from Danny Ronan, and just a few minutes into the second they make it a two goal lead, Gabe Rivera makes his first of the night and Ken Lentz scores the Canadiens' third. The Pats look to rally in the third, but A. J. DiBenedetto seals the front of the net even through two Patriot power plays. I abandon the net as the final minute ticks off the play clock and eventually one more goal is added. . . Gabe takes two on the game, the empty net is filled.

Komets (6-1-1) 4
Blue Devils (3-4-1) 3

Chase Hannah of the Blue Devils is the first to score, after only seventeen minutes of play, but the big man, John Thompson, on the Komets' point makes the power play goal for the tie and within the close of the middle frame Graham Dunlap had secured the Komets' lead. Dunlap adds another in the third on Buell's penalty. When The lines reset and Buell returns to the bench a knowing nod circulates the Devil end of the ice and the rally starts with a John Lloyd goal and Gloria Buell even redeems herself with an assist on the tying goal scored shorthanded by Daryl Weiland. It appeared that the Komets would not be able to weather this storm, but at least one Komet would not be denied. . . Dunlap hits the hat and the Komets win.

Privateers (7-0-1) 3
Ice Bats (4-3-1) 1

In the first period David Trantham rings one off the cross bar and in beating Sexton and the 'Teers for the lead, and the Bats hold onto that lead, until the third period. Gus Mask is the first Privateer to find my weakness half way through the final period, then in the final minute on a Bat power play, Sexton turns away yet another rush and watches as Young Kim redeems his only flaw on the game with a shorty for the lead. After the ensuing faceoff, I dive onto the bench for a better view of Joel Bush's empty net goal, watching yet another game slip away. Matt Taylor shoots one under my off my leg well after the buzzer and a brawl follows, allowing the 'Teers and Bats to live up to their reputations, whether deserved or not.