Keg Night April 5, 2008

For better or worse here are all of the images I captured from KEG NIGHT. Wish I could have gotten more teams.
































































Here's a little something I assembled, some of these are mine, some from other sources. Let me hear from you, maybe you know better.

1. Thou shalt honor the game of hockey

2. Thou shalt maintain control of thy stick

3. Thou shalt respect thy fellow player

4. Thou shalt not commit a penalty when behind

5. Thou shalt crash the net on every shot

6. Remember the crease and keep it clear

7. Thou shalt skate with thine head up

8. Thou shalt win thy face-off

9. Thou shalt head-man the puck

10. Thou shalt have fun, and endeavor to increase the joy among thy piers

The Stars, From Behind the Glass

The weekend's re-cap is just below this post.

The Stars are having a problem mixing in the occasional win here lately, but unlike the rest of you people, I decided to get to the bottom of it. If you have ever attended a Star's home game or even caught a game on the tube, you may have seen local legend Cody Bateman. After toiling for years in anonymity at several area rinks, he earned the right to toil in anonymity at the American Airlines Center. The man with the Zam, he is the final word on ice maintenance at the highest level, and the worst climate. If he can manage to balance those two extremes, surely he has an insightful, authoritative view on the Star's pickle.

I caught him at the melt pit on Thursday (before the loss to San Jose, in overtime)


SNH: Hey Cody, thanks for taking a little time out of your busy schedule here at the AAC to talk with Saturday Night Heroes.

CODY: Sure, glad to answer whatever questions you have. You did clear this with our press agent right?

SNH: Yeah, uhh, I think you have something on your leg, what is that?

CODY: They don't let us out much.

SNH: That's certainly... er, candid. I guess it gets pretty dangerous in the, uh, bowels of the arena. What's the most dangerous thing that has ever happened down here?

CODY: I saw a girl get peed on by a large tiger during the circus. Sprayed her right in the face.

SNH: JEEZ! You know, I think that's actually an exotic astringent, Priscilla Presley uses it. Well, how about those Stars? This season has really started to fall apart. Why do you think this thing isn't working? Is it Brad? Have you seen something behind the scenes that could be the difference?

CODY: Season's not over and the real season begins in April. Hopefully we'll turn it around before then.

SNH: Last year a lot of people were questioning Turco. Do you think that those questions have been answered? Is Turco the future?

CODY: He played out of his mind during the playoffs last year and people still wanted him gone. He's one of the premiere goalies in the league, you don't play for team Canada because you suck. Marty Turco is, and will be, the Dallas Star's goalie until his contract is up.

SNH: That's good news, I love him, no really, I LOVE him. I could have his hockey babies.

CODY: Wow! Jon that's a really scary thought. Medical science can do wonderful things now though, so I guess that's a something for you to look at????

SNH: To each his own, I guess. The move of Modano to wing, do you think that this is a permanent move?

CODY: He's 37 and still a great player. Where they play him doesn't matter as long as he's still contributing.

SNH: Tell me, what do you think about power plays? Are they better than penalty kills?

CODY: No comment??? Next question.

SNH: Uhh, yeah I guess that's not a very good question, Screw it, I'm done!

CODY: Hey your asking better questions than I get from the Canadian reporters.

SNH: You really think that? Thanks man. Hey, did you notice my new beard? What do you think? We're like beard brothers, huh?

CODY: No, not at all, I've seen 10 year old Hispanic kids with better beards. And NO I wouldn't go as far as to say anything about us being related, at all.

SNH: Well, I've only been growing it for a week! Gimme a break man. Not everybody is as beardly blessed as you, OK? Let's get back to hockey, all right?

CODY: Fine with me. If we're not talkin' hockey who is? Hockey is the fourth sport in this town and will never get any where because no one cares.

SNH: That's what I think, too. It's like the Stars organization (pronounced with a long "i") has lost sight of what this thing is supposed to be. The games are buried beneath all of this... JUNK. All of the music, ice girls, contests and whatever, does it bother you, too?

CODY: Yes, I love the game for the game, not the loud music and just plain crap that goes on every game. I guess people buy tickets to get free T-shirts and get their pictures taken with ice girls and ride on the Fan zam, and race around dressed as beer bottles (SNH: nodding in agreement) and be on the kiss cam and it's cool to be Jeff K's havoc fanatics beating on those damn drums like we're at a Cleveland Indians game!!!!! What ever happened to just an organ?? Huh? Why can't we just get a freaking organ and play hockey!!!!

SNH: Hey, calm down, man. Don't get yourself fired. Somebody might overhear you (nervously looking over shoulders). What do you think they should do? Is there a way that the games should be presented?

CODY: Get rid of it all, get an organ. No one cares about all the circus that goes on, they just want to go the bathroom and get some peanuts and beer and watch hockey.

SNH: That's cool. I know you've been to other arenas, which one is you're favorite facility, you know, if you had to work there? Which one is the best to watch a game at?

CODY: I've only been to a couple of places but so far Dallas is still the nicest building I've been in. People from all over come here and just are in awe of this place. If I was going to watch a hockey game I would say Montreal, the Mecca of hockey, is where I would want to watch a game or Toronto's got to be a great place to see a game.

SNH: I've heard that before, I'd like to get up there, sometime. So, do you think that the High School Musical on ice is the biggest event that the AAC will host this year?

CODY: No, Disney is not. Hopefully the Stanley Cup Finals will be. All we have to do is get in the playoffs and we've got a shot. I don't know how far we'll get but you've got a chance as long as you make the playoffs. People tend to say that, 'oh well, the Stars will be out in the first round again', well you could be a Chicago fan and not have seen the playoffs in 8 years. As long as you're in then you've got a chance, if we can play like we did in February then we can go all the way, if we play like March, first round and out. But as a fan you should be appreciative that we're a contender every year. Because in a few years it'll be an early baseball season for you.

SNH: GREAT! I love baseball, I mean, what you said. Let me thank you again for pulling yourself away from the ice to B.S. with me for a little while. I think that everyone at S.N.H. is just a little bit smarter for it!

CODY: No problem, it was interesting?? I hope someone gets something out of this. Go Stars! And good luck with that Marty baby, artificial insemination, inbreeding thing???

SNH: Aww shucks, you probably say that to all the pseudo-journalists.

Jon Ellis
S.N.H. staff writer

Play-offs, Play-on, the Player?

For this week, outstanding players will be on hold. Play-off stand outs will be collected on the next re-cap (Conne Smythe, etc...).

I wish I could have watched more of the games, but what I did see was pretty extraordinary. Do you still remember what it felt like when you scored your first goal? I know not all of you have done it yet, including myself, but as a goaltender (who plays a lot of games) I have seen several people score their first. Last night I had the pleasure of getting owned by Ryan Shilet. The chaos of center ice play (characteristic of most Digger, Pucker contests) culminated in Ryan's breakaway. With no one to pass to and the chasing Digger defense, he quickly spotted the aggressive poke check grip of the goaltender and fired a quick shot through the open five hole. The most genuine of celebrations soon followed, he retrieved the puck and held it in the air. You would have never guessed as both benches erupted in cheers and even the crossbar glass thumped under dozens of fists, that his team was losing by three with less than a minute left. It is moments like this that keep me hanging around. So if you haven't scored one yet or have a hard time remembering that first one, I hope you saw this one. Just stick around and keep watching, these things still do happen, even if it is at my expense.

Here's how the first round went...

Spiders 3, Komets 2 OT, Shoot-out

The Spiders showed up ready to collect an easy win, as the Komets were short a goalie. With pinpoint passing, and dogged possessions the K-men managed to prevent the Spiders from getting a shot on for almost four minutes when a stop-gap net minder finally reached the ice. The Spider morale slipped a little when they recognized the face of Jon Ellis. Perennial all-star, Dustin Nation nets a Komet goal as the first period closed, but the Spiders pull together for a key push, and as the buzzer sounded Chris Nicoletta's equalizer slid past a sprawling Ellis. Freddy Gilbert Beats his plumber to usher the Spiders into the lead in the third. Nina "brown footed boobie" Bonifaz, plays an amazing game, especially at the close of the game. Alex Atkins could only shrug as she calmly dismantled every attempt he made at the net. But Sean Kier does manage to carry the Komets to overtime. Both netminders put up save after save leaving a shoot-out as the only resoltution. The first three are not enough, Michael Gallagher puts one in for the Komets as the fourth shooter. He is matched by Freddy, who scores again for the Spiders. Nina holds-off Baldree, and Spider's defenseman Arvin Manalo wins the game.

Army of the Twelve Monkeys 2, Warriors 1

In the first round bye, the Monkeys and Warriors had scripted a long practice session to warm up for the next round, involving the longest shoot-out in Starcenter history. But infighting and poor physical conditioning sees this game end in regulation with very little fan fair. Roy Urquhart scores the lone Warrior goal half-way through the first. The second goes by without any scoring despite the roughing call on Moser (I thought ATM/Warrior was all one big happy family). At the commencement of the third ATM/Warrior coach Bill Prittard makes the call and ATM scores two goals, Travis Lehr first then Sean Griffin for the win. Who can guess what master plan coach Prittard has developed, or why he selected the Monkeys to carry out his bidding in the Keg finals over the Warriors. The Patriot front office had its scouts following this development but no one is talking.

Iceholes 6, Snipers 2

The honeymoon must be over for Nick Murphee, Sniper goaltender. The net behind him was assaulted repeatedly, and it could have been worse. Amazingly, the first Holey goal goes to the trash talking Raul Gilbreath, with Jennings, Ellis (Paul), and the late bloomer David Base totaling four in the lopsided first. Big Joe Tomme cracks the dam for the Snipers in the second and Chris Davis cuts the Icehole's lead in half but the Holes step on the accelerator again and put the Snipers back two more via Mark Dunning and you guessed it, David Base (this guy could end up being a Conne Smythe... maybe) he also collects an assist, and seven minutes of penalties in this Sniper debacle. The Snipers will be looking to end the session with a moral victory next week, and with their performance at the end of this session things are looking good for the Sniper future.

Patriots 4, Stickmen 2

The Marquee match-up, the pick of destiny, a battle for the ages, all of these are illustrious, dramatic terms and they really do not belong with this game. A game with this much riding on it is bound to be dripping with tension and therefore this one did degrade into a little bit of a penalty-fest (none of them to Blubaugh). The proud Sticks entered this game after losing their perfect record to ATM in disastrous fashion, a point of intrigue for the Pats. But nothing would be taken for granted by the Patriots, Sabrina York was "ready to kick some [expletive]" as she waited to get on the ice. And that is just what they did. Jeff Thomas, of the Sticks, puts the Pats down early with a lateral moving shot. Brookman evens it up before heading to a tight, scoreless second. Both goaltenders seemed to be finding their rhythm when Les York and the Pats bust open the third, just sixteen seconds in and the Pats get the lead. Jason Bergen puts the Sticks down a man and Sharma takes the power play goal. Jeff Thomas strikes again to bring the Sticks within one but the Sticks never regain their composure and Gabe Rodriguez puts the stake in the Stickmen's heart, a few more penalties and the game was over. The Pats will go on to the Keg finals versus the only other team to beat the Stickmen, The Army of the Twelve Monkeys.

Blue Devils 4, Brewzers 2

When will Mike Moore's misery end? The Brewzers are an up and down team as of late, but there was no question that they would have to play their best game of this session in order to get past the Devils. Joshua Davis gives the Devils the early lead, but Paul Thurston evens it up. A new game in the second starts the same way, with a Blue Devil goal. The story of this period really begins with the Brewzers whistle problems, TWENTY MINUTES of penalties in just one eleven minute period, allowing the Devils to tally two power play goals (the first on a five on three). Jamil Al Jabri, the unquestioned heart and soul of the Brewzers squad, gives (yet again) all that he has, and the Brewzers come up short (yet again). The third sees the Blue Devils regain their two goal lead and overcome a rash of penalties to hold on for the win. Look for Ryan Wacker to make an impact in next week's game and I imagine everyone is holding a good thought for the Brewzers. I am a big believer in intangibles.

Grave Diggers 5, Puckers 2

The Diggers shock the world tonight with their first victory of the session. A Pucker team that leans heavily on their goaltender sees Patrick Donaghue tested beyond what he can bear. Questions still abound concerning the future of Donaghue,"I went out for the MHOA thing... I can still raise my right arm!", if Donaghue becomes a ref, I think that all goaltenders will win (in more ways than one). The Diggers scored after twenty three seconds tick-off into this monumental offensive display, and they just keep going. At the end of the second the score was three nil with the Puckers piling-up all of two shots on goal. The Puckers start off the third with a power play goal from Kent Gordon. The Grave Diggers score their fourth and fifth and in the final minute Ryan Shilet nets an instant legend. The Puckers will be facing many issues this off season but with a little luck they can still beat anybody. Good luck to you Diggers, you can only go up from here.

In the parking lot before the game, we have been hearing rumblings of team Mini for a long time, could this be the beginnings of team Jaguar?


P.S. Inspired by BAC, I have undertaken project: playoff beard

one week (yeah, pretty pathetic)