People always ask me why I play net (some would say i play a little more than just the net). I never understood why anyone would play anything else. I have a great view of the ice and you guys are killin' each other out there. It happens from time to time that a large body will fall on me and I have been given the nominal check into the boards but, for the most part, all I worry about is the puck. Since I have the best Kevlar and nylon and leather facade I can afford for that, no worries.
I have played "out" 1 1/2 times. Everything hurts after a game when you're out in the middle of that fracas. With humanity zipping all around me and lumber flying like an f5 tornado. And get this, as a regular player, you may go an entire game without even touching the puck! I know, it's shocking. Sure you guys have your rewards, goals, assists, plus/minus, or whatever... I just don't see how it's worth it. I need no more.
But nothing can beat the feeling of watching the play develop from the opposite end with great, defense breaking passes, and deft puck handling, culminating in an awesome shot... right into my glove, well any part of me actually. Or when everyone's heads are spinning and you singlehandedly stop the shot, the rebound, another rebound, and the next rebound until you finally calm it down with a whistle. I'm not saying it happens every time but when it does it more than makes up for the lower moments.
Alright, go ahead and bombard me on the comment board, ya' jerks.
For anyone who doesn't know it, the crossbar is a pretty copacetic place to be after a game. Lots of teammates, enemies, crazy girls (occasionally), and alcohol (some of it free*).
*the term free implies that no monetary exchange is made at the time of consumption but payment is often received with league fees, favors to friends, stupid dares, bodily harm, and excruciating hangovers.
P.S. I got this in the mail from McSweeney's:
This made me chuckle, but not quite enough to win me over completely, I'm afraid. Thanks for the look.
Best,Chris
On Wed , sent:
five most erotic fruits
dates
navel oranges
coconuts
prickly pears
passion fruit
five least erotic fruits
granny smith apples
blood oranges
figs
prunes
dingle berries
...sounds like a form letter rejection to me, ya' think?
bcIII
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6 comments:
has anyone ever seen ellis stop a puck?
sirkis
I have, about 3 or 4 years ago.
Couple of hay bales would fill the net just as well... wouldn't drink my beer and best of all, wouldn't steal my 'sure thing' jersey from the Dallas Stars the bud bottle race.
I know he can't stop a glove.
If he's such a bad goalie then why don't you guys stop f***ing calling him.
calling him what?
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