Player/Coach Profile: Bobby Sirkis

After interviewing several players and even a ref, we decided to move on to coaches. Bobby Sirkis is a former I leaguer, who now coaches the powerful Mayhem squad. He also plays C league. We sat down and discussed his inner most thoughts...

Q. You're a pretty good skater. Have you played hockey your whole life?
A: No. I played football in high school and college although they never let me play during a game...they said I was too short and skinny. But I enjoyed the camaraderie of being on a team, especially after games.

Q: Why is that?
A: We'd hit the shower room and soak down our sweaty bodies.

Q. Have you ever had a favorite uniform?
A. The cheerleading outfits the rest of the team made me wear made me look my best. I have never looked better.

Q. Could you ever date a person of another religion?
A. That would never happen because we would both be worshiping the same god: me.

Q. People say you are a gifted athlete. Do you agree?

A. I decended from Hercules himself. Girls flock to me just so they can smell my man odors.

Q. If you could be an animal, what would you be?
A. The werewolf is something I respect and admire.

Q: Do you have any advice for new hockey players?
A: Yeah. watch Jason Isham. He is phenomenal. I've seen him do things with the puck that Crosby has only dreamed of.

Q. Talk a little more about Isham.
A. Isham is a great skater, you can’t check him. Unlike him, I have a problem taking hits cause I can’t skate backwards, I have the balance of an 80 year old cripple and for the most part play with my head down. I need to learn more from him.

Q: What is your favorite movie?
A: Probably "Too Wong Foo". That movie changed my life. But the Notebook made me cry, I am a very sensitive individual.

Q: What do you do with your spare time?
A: I'm sorry, what was the question again? I was daydreaming about monkeys again. You know how much I like monkeys.

Q. Do you have a favorite food?
A. I am the biggest fan of pickles.

Q: Anything else you like to do in your spare time?

A: I like to work out a lot. It keeps the guys happy.

Q. Why did you start coaching?
A. Because I knew I would never be able to outplay Isham or Hodges on the Ice.

Q. Do you have any weaknesses in life?

A. I can’t seem to change a flat tire.

Q: Do you work out to improve your hockey game?

A: No. mainly because I like to look at myself in the mirror. Since I live alone I spend a lot of time by myself.

Q: What do you think about our favorite referee Scott Olson?

A: Olsie is great. He's like my second dad. Sometimes I even call him daddy. We work out together too. That man has extraordinary buttocks.

Q. What does Mayhem need to work on as a team?

A. We are perfect in all things accept scoring on empty nets.

Q. Did you want to coach Mayhem at first or did you have other preferences?
A. I really wanted to coach the Patriots. They are all great skaters, we were so lucky when we beat them in the Keg. I thank God we don’t have to play them in the first round this season. Our mayhem team is still having trouble getting over that shutout loss to the Patriots this season.

Q. Will you beat the spiders this weekend?
A. Hell yea son. Last game we were shooting on our own net just to make the game fair, and we still beat the crap out of them. I still have more holes to shoot in that keg.