I League: week 3

So as the Olson craze continues to heat up (rumor has it there is an Olson 3:16 shirt floating around), week 3 took place. For the most part, it was either really close finishes or complete massacres…..

3 Stars
1. Chris Conner-Mayhem: 4 goals, 1 assist (GWG, 2 Shorthanded goals). Mayhem 9-1 win.
2. John Newell-Patriots: 3 Goals (GWG). Patriots 7-0 win
3. Josh Briscoe-Stingers: 2 Goals, 1 assist (GWG) Stingers 3-2 win.

Honorable Mention: Chris Gallagher-Komets: 2 Goals (GWG), Komets 5-3 win.

Goalie of the week:
Tony Sadde-Puckers: 19 saves on 20 shots. Puckers 3-1 win.


Mayhem 9 Borrachos 1
Mayhem continues their obliteration of the Gold Division, this time with a crushing 9-1 win over borrachos. Mayhem scored three short handed goals in this one: wow. Scorers for Soviet Mayhem included Chis Conner who had probably one of the best games of his career with 4 goals and an assist while Greg Mersberger, Trevor Litchy, Robert Gullinese, and Dr. Karim Jamal all found the back of the net. Borrachos were’t without chances, but only a Jim Stuckeman goal from Kent “Doc” Taub beat Mayhem goalie Chris Duran. After being shut out in their first game, Mayhem have outscored their opponents by a combined score of 15-3.

Stingers 3 Ice Holes 2
Once again Josh Briscoe leads the stingers team to glorious victory as they improve to 2-0-1 on the season. Briscoe scores twice, one of which was the game winner, plus a helper as he continues his mastering of I League. Ice holes made a game out of this when Steve Junker scored twice for the Ice Holes, but no more. Ronald Widmann had two helpers while Jason “I Wish I was Bobby Sirkis” Isham also had an assist. In his postgame interview, Briscoe said, “I’m the greatest, I feel invincible and nothing can stop me.”

Spiders Gold 3 Warriors 1
Spiders improve to 3-0 this season to remain atop the Gold Division with a hard fought 3-1 win. After a scoreless first period, Rahul “Don’t Squeez the” Sharma scores on a sick wrister for a Spiders lead early in the second. Warriors answer right back from Dallas “T.O.” Lehr for he third goal of the season to tie the game at 1-1. Chris Gallagher scores for the spiders with under a minute in the period for a 2-1 spiders lead. An empty Net goal (we assume) was put in by Kris Navarro put the game away with almost no time left in the 3rd. Great game.

Patriots 7 Stickmen 0
The textbook example of domination occurred in this game, not only offensively, but also defensivly for the Pats, who get their second shutout of the season. After the first period alone, the shot total was 15-0 in favor of the patriots. Patriots scored three in the first; two coming from John Newell and one from Butch Hutchinson. The second and third periods were more of the same as Newell adds one more for the hat trick, while Hutchinson, Brian Brookman, and Daniel Barr also light the lamp. The Stickmen had no defense whatsoever as the pats unleashed 38 shots on net, as the score would have been far worse if not for some sick saves by their goalie David Blubaugh. On the other side, Pats goalie Jesse Gonzales was caught building snow castles as he only faces 4 shots all night. Stickmen still haven’t scored a goal this season, while the Pats have never looked better. Michigan defeated Ohio State in this one.

Puckers 3 Brewzers 1
Brewzers finally drop their first of the season, as the Puckers have found their groove, winning back to back games. Brewzers got the first goal from Brian Flaschbarch off a Dave Runyon assist 30 seconds into the game. Puckers got the equalizer with one second left in the period on a Guy Riggs goal. Puckers then added two more, one from Ken Luchenhoff and from Ryan Rintala. Jennifer Leonard blames Jeff Vaughan Voodoo for the loss.

Snipers 8 Leftovers 1
Another blowout on the night has the snipers with their biggest win in several seasons. Joe Tomme gets two, as does Jesse Henderson, while Greg Martinez, David Counce, Kevin Cook, and Brandon Armstrong also get a goal. Leftovers tried their hardest to stay pace, but only could get a goal from AJ Freeman. Keep hanging in their boys, you’re looking better every week. Our home boy Scott Dolbee knotched an assist in this game. Champion.

Komets 5 Shockers 3
We don’t have the statsheet in this one but from witness accounts we heard Los Komets get two goals by Chris Gallagher and one from Sean Keir, who also got an assist and a fight for his completion of the Gordie Howe Hat Trick, rock on man. We also heard rumors the Conner Brothers were playing on the side of the shockers….that might have something to do with the three goals scored by the shockers….we are uncertain…blow us up.

Fugaweez 4 Blue Devils 3 (Shootout)
Blue Devils take a hit to their perfect record as they come up short in the shootout to a scrappy and determined Fugs team. In a see-saw game, that had both teams trading goals right after the other, Ray Workman’s Prophesy came to a horrible conclusion. The Evil Empire scored first on a Dan Glein goal from Mark Cameron. Fugs got the game tied at 1-1 with a minute left in the first from Matt Osbourne. BD would score in the first couple of minutes from Bruce Nichols shot from the point, only to have that lead erased as the period concluded when Glenn Englehart slipped one past Blue Devils Goalie Phil Garvin. Fugaweez would then take the lead as Englehart strikes again, however it would be Glein for the Blue Devils who scored 15 seconds later to make it 3-3. After a pointless Overtime period, it was Chris Leary who got the shootout winner for the Fugs. Todd Smith swore never to drink before a game again ever.