People always ask me why I play net (some would say i play a little more than just the net). I never understood why anyone would play anything else. I have a great view of the ice and you guys are killin' each other out there. It happens from time to time that a large body will fall on me and I have been given the nominal check into the boards but, for the most part, all I worry about is the puck. Since I have the best Kevlar and nylon and leather facade I can afford for that, no worries.
I have played "out" 1 1/2 times. Everything hurts after a game when you're out in the middle of that fracas. With humanity zipping all around me and lumber flying like an f5 tornado. And get this, as a regular player, you may go an entire game without even touching the puck! I know, it's shocking. Sure you guys have your rewards, goals, assists, plus/minus, or whatever... I just don't see how it's worth it. I need no more.
But nothing can beat the feeling of watching the play develop from the opposite end with great, defense breaking passes, and deft puck handling, culminating in an awesome shot... right into my glove, well any part of me actually. Or when everyone's heads are spinning and you singlehandedly stop the shot, the rebound, another rebound, and the next rebound until you finally calm it down with a whistle. I'm not saying it happens every time but when it does it more than makes up for the lower moments.
Alright, go ahead and bombard me on the comment board, ya' jerks.
For anyone who doesn't know it, the crossbar is a pretty copacetic place to be after a game. Lots of teammates, enemies, crazy girls (occasionally), and alcohol (some of it free*).
*the term free implies that no monetary exchange is made at the time of consumption but payment is often received with league fees, favors to friends, stupid dares, bodily harm, and excruciating hangovers.
P.S. I got this in the mail from McSweeney's:
This made me chuckle, but not quite enough to win me over completely, I'm afraid. Thanks for the look.
Best,Chris
On Wed , sent:
five most erotic fruits
dates
navel oranges
coconuts
prickly pears
passion fruit
five least erotic fruits
granny smith apples
blood oranges
figs
prunes
dingle berries
...sounds like a form letter rejection to me, ya' think?
bcIII
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Whither the Stars' 'Herd Upgrade'?
We now interrupt your I-league news for Stars talk ...
Still no idea what Razor meant when he said, very cryptically, on The Ticket last week that the Stars were about to "upgrade the herd." But the website www.rumormethis.com on Thursday cited a Florida newspaper as saying The Ambassador of Fun may be scouting the Lightning. Could it be there was something to the rumors about Martin St. Louis? Vaclav Prospal wouldn't be a bad addition, either, depending what we had to give up.
Here's what the blog reported:
Still no idea what Razor meant when he said, very cryptically, on The Ticket last week that the Stars were about to "upgrade the herd." But the website www.rumormethis.com on Thursday cited a Florida newspaper as saying The Ambassador of Fun may be scouting the Lightning. Could it be there was something to the rumors about Martin St. Louis? Vaclav Prospal wouldn't be a bad addition, either, depending what we had to give up.
Here's what the blog reported:
"Carter Gaddis and Erik Erlendsson of The Tampa Tribune report that Dallas Stars and the Chicago Blackhawks have been scouting the Tampa Bay Lightning recently.
Stars co-GM Brett Hull and director of player personnel Dave Taylor attended Tuesday’s Lightning home game versus the Edmonton Oilers, though it is unclear which team they were there to scout.
A few months, talk was that the Stars and Lightning were discussing a Martin St. Louis for Marty Turco swap. However, Erlendsson speculates that the Stars might be looking at forwards Vaclav Prospal, Chris Gratton, and Andreas Karlsson.
Erlendsson also reported that while the Stars were scouting the Lightning, there were no Lightning scouts in attendance at Tuesday’s game in Dallas.
Blackhawks scout Marc Bergevin also took in the game, and according to both Gaddis and Erlendsson, he was at the game to keep a close eye on the Lightning.
Blackhawks assistant GM Rick Dudley and “at least one other Blackhawks scout or executive” were also present at the Lightning’s previous home game. Word is that Chicago is interested in forward Prospal, and are believed to be shopping forward Tuomo Ruutu."
Saturday, January 19, 2008
predictions?
Yes! The schedule is finally out (http://www.pointstreak.com/players/players-division-schedule.html?divisionid=17603) and the excitement is building.
Twelve hungry teams will enter the rink to fight it out (or hug it out) over a nine game session. Most of them are the regular names we have seen for several sessions now, some with new rosters. Of course the new team: Army of the Twelve Monkeys looks to make a corpulent impression on our little league, their first practice is tonight. I thought, as your humble blogger, that I might give you my take on each of these teams in their current incarnations.
W L OL
The Grave Diggers- 3 6
The surprise sophomore team will stumble a bit this season. Sirkus (the senior) has assembled a new look team and the cadets will struggle with deciding weather gravedigger is one word or two. Watch out for last session's "most improved" Grave Digger, she is anxious to move to MVP status.
The Brewzers- 4 3 2
The best looking team in the league will scrape together a respectable season with their all but immutable cast. For some reason these guys have trouble making their games. If they can restore their passion for the game, this could be one of the elite teams...
The Blue Devils- 4 4 1
The venerable devils will not taste the ambrosia of I-league supremacy. Uninspired offense, chaotic defense, if any team could use a new look it's this squad (Drago, I'm looking at you).
The Warriors- 6 2 1
The returning champions will have the bull's eye on their back, but few will hit the mark. Without the stifling coaching of Dallas Lehr this team should be consistently performing at their keg game level. GET YOUR POPCORN READY!
The Patriots- 5 3 1
Les York has seen the writing on the wall and with several key trades and acquisitions looks to gain the dominance he lost in the last game he played... But it will take more than nine games to restore this franchise.
The Komets- 4 3 2
Prove me wrong mighty Komets. I just don't think you're ready. This team needs more than a super girl, they need a super man (I can feel your anger, use it, use your anger, Mel, strike me down).
The Snipers- 3 5 1
Another oldie but goody team, maybe too old, a team plagued with multi-team players, they never seem to have the stamina for three periods of demanding I-league hockey and without an IV of fresh bodies I don't see this team making it out of the basement.
The Ice Holes- 7 0 2
The stingy Ice Holes won't be allowing many goals this session either, handing out virtually all of the overtime losses to the league. Can Doug Taylor's decrepit body handle all of those extra minutes? They will lose their playoff game(s).
The Spiders- 4 3 2
The word on the street is that a little known goal tending commodity will be in the Spider stable and I ,for one, hope this is true. The Roach's diminutive frame houses a great talent. If the remainder of the team can score the timely goal this posse will easily surpass my predicted record.
The Puckers- 1 7 1
The lowly Puckers. Could a more terrible record happen to such a distinguished troupe? The giant killers are unable to string together two wins this season, but who will fall victim to these lovable losers this session?
The Stickmen- 4 2 2
Always a bridesmaid, never a bride. The Stickmen need a striker. Perennial all star goalie Blubaugh (coming off of injury) must feel like Hasek, when he played for Buffalo. I don't imagine that the Sticks will turn into the Redwings in the next couple of months. Keep your stick on the ice, pal.
The Army of the Twelve Monkeys- 8 wins, 0 losses, 1 overtime loss (but who to?)
I never saw this movie but I think it has quite a bit to do with mental illness, what better source to draw on for a hockey team, right? From what my sources tell me this team will be stomping its skate right down on the throat of this league. To be a freshman team in Euless doesn't always mean a struggle, many ringer squads have shown-up and knocked the rest of us in the face but this one looks to take it to a new level. The fee for using this ATM may mean losing by 3-5 goals. Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about, after all, as a great man once said,"There's no right, there's no wrong, there's only popular opinion."
Well, I'm pooped. Good luck to those at practice tonight. See everyone starting on the twenty sixth.
In parting here is my word of the week (the word week is used loosely)
CLOYING adj. causing or tending to cause disgust or aversion through excess, especially with food or pleasure. Daniel Grimes felt the cloying sweetness of his keg winning hangover upon waking to the cold splash of his lawn sprinkler.
bcIII
Twelve hungry teams will enter the rink to fight it out (or hug it out) over a nine game session. Most of them are the regular names we have seen for several sessions now, some with new rosters. Of course the new team: Army of the Twelve Monkeys looks to make a corpulent impression on our little league, their first practice is tonight. I thought, as your humble blogger, that I might give you my take on each of these teams in their current incarnations.
W L OL
The Grave Diggers- 3 6
The surprise sophomore team will stumble a bit this season. Sirkus (the senior) has assembled a new look team and the cadets will struggle with deciding weather gravedigger is one word or two. Watch out for last session's "most improved" Grave Digger, she is anxious to move to MVP status.
The Brewzers- 4 3 2
The best looking team in the league will scrape together a respectable season with their all but immutable cast. For some reason these guys have trouble making their games. If they can restore their passion for the game, this could be one of the elite teams...
The Blue Devils- 4 4 1
The venerable devils will not taste the ambrosia of I-league supremacy. Uninspired offense, chaotic defense, if any team could use a new look it's this squad (Drago, I'm looking at you).
The Warriors- 6 2 1
The returning champions will have the bull's eye on their back, but few will hit the mark. Without the stifling coaching of Dallas Lehr this team should be consistently performing at their keg game level. GET YOUR POPCORN READY!
The Patriots- 5 3 1
Les York has seen the writing on the wall and with several key trades and acquisitions looks to gain the dominance he lost in the last game he played... But it will take more than nine games to restore this franchise.
The Komets- 4 3 2
Prove me wrong mighty Komets. I just don't think you're ready. This team needs more than a super girl, they need a super man (I can feel your anger, use it, use your anger, Mel, strike me down).
The Snipers- 3 5 1
Another oldie but goody team, maybe too old, a team plagued with multi-team players, they never seem to have the stamina for three periods of demanding I-league hockey and without an IV of fresh bodies I don't see this team making it out of the basement.
The Ice Holes- 7 0 2
The stingy Ice Holes won't be allowing many goals this session either, handing out virtually all of the overtime losses to the league. Can Doug Taylor's decrepit body handle all of those extra minutes? They will lose their playoff game(s).
The Spiders- 4 3 2
The word on the street is that a little known goal tending commodity will be in the Spider stable and I ,for one, hope this is true. The Roach's diminutive frame houses a great talent. If the remainder of the team can score the timely goal this posse will easily surpass my predicted record.
The Puckers- 1 7 1
The lowly Puckers. Could a more terrible record happen to such a distinguished troupe? The giant killers are unable to string together two wins this season, but who will fall victim to these lovable losers this session?
The Stickmen- 4 2 2
Always a bridesmaid, never a bride. The Stickmen need a striker. Perennial all star goalie Blubaugh (coming off of injury) must feel like Hasek, when he played for Buffalo. I don't imagine that the Sticks will turn into the Redwings in the next couple of months. Keep your stick on the ice, pal.
The Army of the Twelve Monkeys- 8 wins, 0 losses, 1 overtime loss (but who to?)
I never saw this movie but I think it has quite a bit to do with mental illness, what better source to draw on for a hockey team, right? From what my sources tell me this team will be stomping its skate right down on the throat of this league. To be a freshman team in Euless doesn't always mean a struggle, many ringer squads have shown-up and knocked the rest of us in the face but this one looks to take it to a new level. The fee for using this ATM may mean losing by 3-5 goals. Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about, after all, as a great man once said,"There's no right, there's no wrong, there's only popular opinion."
Well, I'm pooped. Good luck to those at practice tonight. See everyone starting on the twenty sixth.
In parting here is my word of the week (the word week is used loosely)
CLOYING adj. causing or tending to cause disgust or aversion through excess, especially with food or pleasure. Daniel Grimes felt the cloying sweetness of his keg winning hangover upon waking to the cold splash of his lawn sprinkler.
bcIII
Friday, January 18, 2008
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
The Dirty Dozen?
Finally the league has a perfect number of teams. Yockey should no longer have any excuse for his goofy scheduling of last session. No more double headers or weekday games, right? And the playoffs should be a little easier to wrap my brain around. I guess the only question I have is: who are "the Army of the Twelve Monkeys"?
With the collapse of the Patriots and their subsequent rebuilding season will ATM simply be a collection of disgruntled ringers quick to assume the role of league favorite? Or just another first year gaggle of spares? My sources are in conflict, but their first practice is this Saturday... And my scouts won't let me down.
MEANWHILE...
The puck rockets in from the top of the circle and beats Blubaugh on the ice, stick side. Olsen throws his arm out toward the goal.
Blubaugh:"No! No! Kicking motion! Didn't you see that? C'mon?"
Olsen:"What are you talking about? It was a clean wrister."
Blubaugh:"Yeah, and right off my skate. I kicked it in, NO GOAL!"
AND IN OTHER NEWS...
the five most erotic fruits:
#5 dates
#4 navel oranges
#3 coconuts
#2 prickly pears
#1 passion fruit
the five least erotic fruits:
#5 granny smith apples
#4 blood oranges
#3 figs
#2 prunes
#1 dingle berries
i am submitting this to http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/lists/, there is no doubt about it!
bcIII
With the collapse of the Patriots and their subsequent rebuilding season will ATM simply be a collection of disgruntled ringers quick to assume the role of league favorite? Or just another first year gaggle of spares? My sources are in conflict, but their first practice is this Saturday... And my scouts won't let me down.
MEANWHILE...
The puck rockets in from the top of the circle and beats Blubaugh on the ice, stick side. Olsen throws his arm out toward the goal.
Blubaugh:"No! No! Kicking motion! Didn't you see that? C'mon?"
Olsen:"What are you talking about? It was a clean wrister."
Blubaugh:"Yeah, and right off my skate. I kicked it in, NO GOAL!"
AND IN OTHER NEWS...
the five most erotic fruits:
#5 dates
#4 navel oranges
#3 coconuts
#2 prickly pears
#1 passion fruit
the five least erotic fruits:
#5 granny smith apples
#4 blood oranges
#3 figs
#2 prunes
#1 dingle berries
i am submitting this to http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/lists/, there is no doubt about it!
bcIII
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