Standings, schedule

The Wolverines are the only team with a chance to catch the Pats, but they need help from the Redrummers tonight. The Ice Holes can also play spoilers tonight by beating Wolverines. Good luck to all.

Tonight's schedule

7:45 p.m.: Phantoms vs. Stickmen

8:15 p.m.: Wolverines vs. Ice Holes

9 p.m.: Fugaweez vs. Brewzers

9:30 p.m.: Patriots vs. REDRUM

10:15 p.m.: Blue Devils vs. Spiders

10:45 p.m.: Komets vs. Snipers

11:30 p.m.: Stingers vs. Puckers

Hockey Video of the Week: Futureworld

Maybe after global warming really sets in, we'll all play hockey like this.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2571543572133086249&q=hockey&hl=en

Phantoms, Pats, W's Cruise; Stingers Stung

The Phantoms remained in control of the Stanley Keg race Saturday night, while the Patriots stayed right with them. And don't count out the Wolverines just yet. The Stingers, meanwhile, fell mightily without their usual goalie. Here's a look at action from Sept. 9:

Phantoms 10, Fugaweez 2: The Phantoms busted loose with six goals in the second period of a complete domination. Unless we're missing something, this victory qualifies Phantoms for the title game in two weeks. Their opponent apparently will be the Pats, unless those Pats stumble against REDRUM next week. Phantoms finished with 38 shots to just nine for the (Where The) Fugaweez. Greg Hunt had a pair for Phantoms. Others to score: Jason Neal, John Lloyd, Bryan Brookman, Nate Hodges, Kyle Hatley, Jay Peters, Melissa Ross and Brandon Suits. (Our fingers are tired from typing.) Kyle Overton and Doc Taub scored for Fugaweez.

Patriots 2, Spiders 0: Jeff Vaughn and Jeff Eagle scored unassisted for the Pats, and goalie Jon Ellis stoned the Spiders on 21 shots. The Patriots ought to be on their way to the title game. The question is, will they bring any scoring punch with them?

Wolverines 2, Stickmen 1: Chris Conner scored on a Greg Mersberger assist with 4:18 remaining to lift the Wolverines. Tommy Riley also put one in. The Stickmen managed only Lance Johnson's goal on an Alex Eysermans assist. The Wolverines have the Ice Holes next week. If the Patriots stumble, the W's could find their way into the title game, depending what tiebreakers are used. Wolverines have scored more goals but trail slightly in margin of victory and have a worse goals-against average. (Photo above: Courtesy Robert Sirkis. Not sure who that is losing the puck between his feet. Don't you hate when that happens?)

Blue Devils 7, Stingers 4: Chris Perkins and Matt Patchen each had two goals as the Blue Devils jumped up and knocked the Stingers out of Keg contention. Perkins' goals both came in the first minute. The Devils added Michael Binney's goal a minute after that to go up 3-0. The Stingers fought back with a pair of goals by Greg Carter and scores by Josh Briscoe and Scott Childress. But the Blue Devils were too much for Stingers substitute goalie Bill Ivey. (Eclipse was at a concert, we're told. Rock on, dude, BDs don't mind.) Other Devils goals were by Mike Drago and Allen Kriesman.

Brewzers 6, REDRUM 0: The Brewzers put this stinker away early. Steve Daniels finished with a pair of goals. Redrummers took just nine shots to 21 for the bad guys. Other goals wee by Nidal Jabri, Jen Leonard, Jamil Jabri and John P. (illegible).

Snipers 6, Lucky Puckers 1: Big Joe Tomme and Don L. (illegible, but looks like Lasagne) each notched a pair for the resurgent Snipers. Matt Walker and Sarah Buckner added goals. Rob Constantine scored for the Puckers.

Ice Holes 6, Komets 0: In possibly the ugliest game we have seen all season, the Ice Holes peppered poor Komets goalie Brent Bryant with 45 shots whilst the lowly Komets mustered just four. In a goaltending miracle, Brent surrendered just six. We hope his defense enjoyed the view. (oh, snap!) As for the spectators, thank goodness for Boddington's Pub Ale, which we're persuaded is the best beer in the known universe for pure drinking pleasure. (We have not been paid for this endorsement.) Jared Junker scored twice for Ice Holes. Others joining in the fun: Steve Junker, Greg Hunt, Mike Skupien and Patty Skupien. A real family affair.

You Speak, StarCenter Listens: More Open Ice

The StarCenter website has been updated, and it includes some great news. They've scheduled a few more drop-in and stick-n-puck times than previously reported here. Thumbs-up, guys. Now it's up to us to take advantage so the center will keep giving us ice time. Get out there, folks. You need the work.

Following is the schedule as listed on their website. NOT included here is the daily drop-in game, from noon to 1:30 p.m., which is on the schedule for the rest of the month. All these times are at the Euless rink.

Sunday, Sept. 10: 9 a.m.-10:30 a.m. (drop-in) and 4 p.m.-5:30 p.m. (stick-n-puck)
Thurs., Sept. 14: 7 a.m.-8:30 a.m. (stick-n-puck) and 10:15 p.m.-11:45 p.m. (drop-in)
Sun., Sept. 17: 9 a.m.-10:30 a.m. (drop-in) and 10:45 a.m.-11:45 a.m. (stick-n-puck) and 10 p.m.-11:30 p.m. (drop-in)
Thurs., Sept. 21: 7 a.m.-8:30 a.m. (stick-n-puck) and 10:15 p.m.-11:45 p.m. (drop-in)
Sun., Sept. 24: 9 a.m.-10:30 a.m. (drop-in) and 10:45 a.m.-11:45 a.m. (stick-n-puck)
Thurs., Sept. 28: 7 a.m.-8:30 a.m. (stick-n-puck) and 9 p.m.-10:30 p.m. (drop-in)

And if you get a chance, drop a line thanking Keith Andresen for the increase in ice times. Kandresen@dallasstars.com

Hockey Video of the Week: A Little SNL

We never saw this hilarious Saturday Night Live take on goalies. It was submitted by one of our loyal readers. Thanks, loyal reader. And, here's to you, Mr. Dedicated I-League Hockey Goalie Guy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMikQAhrN-w

Who Skates The Keg? Swami Knows

As the final two weeks of the regular season approach, we have a humdinger of a race. Basically the league breaks down clearly between Top Six and Bottom Feeders. We made telepathic contact with our friend The Swami for his view on who wins this thing. What'd he say? Read on ...

Phantoms
Record: 6-0, 12 points
Games remaining: Fugaweez (1-5), Stickmen (5-1)
Oddsmakers say: 2-1.
Swami sez: The Phantoms are the team to beat. They have solid goaltending (Jesse Gonzales), solid defense and plenty of scoring threats (Neal, Howard & Co.), not to mention the league’s loudest scream (defenseman Ryan Smith). They've beaten the Spiders and Stingers and Wolverines. (Oh, my.) If they don’t stumble against Fugaweez, Phantoms should be in line to play for the title before moving up to D League. (At least that’s what we hear.)

Patriots
Record: 5-1, 11 points (we stand corrected)
Games remaining: Spiders (5-1), REDRUM (2-4)
Oddsmakers say: 8-1
Swami sez: The Patriots always bring great goaltending, especially when Jon Ellis is in net. But scoring has been a challenge this season (just 2 goals per game), and the Pats haven’t beaten a winning team yet. This Saturday’s showdown with the Spiders will determine whether the Pats are for real.

Spiders
Record: 5-1, 10 points
Games remaining: Patriots (5-1), Blue Devils (2-4)
Oddsmakers say: 6-1
Swami sez: Last week’s 7-2 crushing of the Brewzers showed this team has something in its bag. They have decent goaltending and nearly four goals per game. True enough, they’ve not beaten a winning team except for the Wolverines (in a shootout), but they nearly beat the Phantoms. This could be a good keg matchup. We’ll see how they do against the Patriots.

Stickmen
Record: 5-1, 10 points
Games remaining: Wolverines (4-2), Phantoms (6-0)
Oddsmakers say: 15-1
Swami sez: They’ve played a soft schedule (no meetings against top teams), so it’s hard to tell on this bunch. They do have good goaltending (McCollister), and he’ll be tested against some of the best offensive teams in the next two weeks. We doubt they can pull it off. If they can beat the Wolverines on Saturday, we’ll re-evaluate.

Stingers
Record: 4-2, 10 points
Games remaining: Blue Devils (2-4), Puckers (2-4)
Oddsmakers say: 4-1
Swami sez: Stingers have played one of the toughest schedules and acquitted themselves well, losing in overtime to the Wolverines and in a shootout to the Phantoms. They’ve also beaten the Patriots. Not to mention they have the Jolly Green Giant (aka "Total Eclipse") in net (even if he has the highest GAA among top teams). Oh yeah, they also have the league’s highest scoring average (over 4 gpg) and a soft schedule in the last two weeks. We think they’ll have another shot at the Phantoms in the Keg final.

Wolverines
Record: 4-2, 9 points
Games remaining: Stickmen (5-1), Ice Holes (2-4)
Oddsmakers say: 10-1
Swami sez: The Wolverines had a chance to grab first place last week and stumbled badly against the Phantoms. Their only quality win was in overtime against the Stingers. They have plenty of scoring power and a good goalie, but they need a lot to happen before they can play for a second consecutive Keg. They must start by beating the Stickmen, then hope others lose.

So who plays for the Keg?
Swami sez: Phantoms over the Stingers in overtime.