Hockey Video of the Week: A Little SNL

We never saw this hilarious Saturday Night Live take on goalies. It was submitted by one of our loyal readers. Thanks, loyal reader. And, here's to you, Mr. Dedicated I-League Hockey Goalie Guy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMikQAhrN-w

Who Skates The Keg? Swami Knows

As the final two weeks of the regular season approach, we have a humdinger of a race. Basically the league breaks down clearly between Top Six and Bottom Feeders. We made telepathic contact with our friend The Swami for his view on who wins this thing. What'd he say? Read on ...

Phantoms
Record: 6-0, 12 points
Games remaining: Fugaweez (1-5), Stickmen (5-1)
Oddsmakers say: 2-1.
Swami sez: The Phantoms are the team to beat. They have solid goaltending (Jesse Gonzales), solid defense and plenty of scoring threats (Neal, Howard & Co.), not to mention the league’s loudest scream (defenseman Ryan Smith). They've beaten the Spiders and Stingers and Wolverines. (Oh, my.) If they don’t stumble against Fugaweez, Phantoms should be in line to play for the title before moving up to D League. (At least that’s what we hear.)

Patriots
Record: 5-1, 11 points (we stand corrected)
Games remaining: Spiders (5-1), REDRUM (2-4)
Oddsmakers say: 8-1
Swami sez: The Patriots always bring great goaltending, especially when Jon Ellis is in net. But scoring has been a challenge this season (just 2 goals per game), and the Pats haven’t beaten a winning team yet. This Saturday’s showdown with the Spiders will determine whether the Pats are for real.

Spiders
Record: 5-1, 10 points
Games remaining: Patriots (5-1), Blue Devils (2-4)
Oddsmakers say: 6-1
Swami sez: Last week’s 7-2 crushing of the Brewzers showed this team has something in its bag. They have decent goaltending and nearly four goals per game. True enough, they’ve not beaten a winning team except for the Wolverines (in a shootout), but they nearly beat the Phantoms. This could be a good keg matchup. We’ll see how they do against the Patriots.

Stickmen
Record: 5-1, 10 points
Games remaining: Wolverines (4-2), Phantoms (6-0)
Oddsmakers say: 15-1
Swami sez: They’ve played a soft schedule (no meetings against top teams), so it’s hard to tell on this bunch. They do have good goaltending (McCollister), and he’ll be tested against some of the best offensive teams in the next two weeks. We doubt they can pull it off. If they can beat the Wolverines on Saturday, we’ll re-evaluate.

Stingers
Record: 4-2, 10 points
Games remaining: Blue Devils (2-4), Puckers (2-4)
Oddsmakers say: 4-1
Swami sez: Stingers have played one of the toughest schedules and acquitted themselves well, losing in overtime to the Wolverines and in a shootout to the Phantoms. They’ve also beaten the Patriots. Not to mention they have the Jolly Green Giant (aka "Total Eclipse") in net (even if he has the highest GAA among top teams). Oh yeah, they also have the league’s highest scoring average (over 4 gpg) and a soft schedule in the last two weeks. We think they’ll have another shot at the Phantoms in the Keg final.

Wolverines
Record: 4-2, 9 points
Games remaining: Stickmen (5-1), Ice Holes (2-4)
Oddsmakers say: 10-1
Swami sez: The Wolverines had a chance to grab first place last week and stumbled badly against the Phantoms. Their only quality win was in overtime against the Stingers. They have plenty of scoring power and a good goalie, but they need a lot to happen before they can play for a second consecutive Keg. They must start by beating the Stickmen, then hope others lose.

So who plays for the Keg?
Swami sez: Phantoms over the Stingers in overtime.

Standings, schedule

9 September
8 p.m.: REDRUM vs. Brewzers
8 p.m.: Patriots vs. Spiders
9:15 p.m.: Wolverines vs. Stickmen
9:15 p.m.: Blue Devils vs. Stingers
10:30 p.m.: Puckers vs. Snipers
10:30 p.m.: Ice Holes vs. Komets
11:45 p.m.: Phantoms vs. Fugaweez
16 September
7:45 p.m.: Phantoms vs. Stickmen
8:15 p.m.: Wolverines vs. Ice Holes
9 p.m.: Fugaweez vs. Brewzers
9:30 p.m.: Patriots vs. REDRUM
10:15 p.m.: Blue Devils vs. Spiders
10:45 p.m.: Komets vs. Snipers
11:30 p.m.: Stingers vs. Puckers

Hockey Video of the Week

This is not new, but it's new to us. And, it's freakin' awesome. Can you say: "Inglewood Jack?"
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2741695332150078257&q=winnfield

Phantoms Ascend to First Place

Phantoms 4, Wolverines 2: Jason Neal scored three times and Jay Peters added a goal and an assist as the Phantoms climbed into first place. They needed a loss by the previously undefeated Patriots, which the Stingers happily delivered. (see below) Ryan "Screaming Like A Demon From Hell" Smith had an assist on Peters' goal. The Wolverines got unassisted goals from Robert Sirkis Sr. and Jason Delarosa. The Phantoms are now 6-0. With Fugaweez and Stickmen yet to play, they look like a shoo-in for the Stanley Keg final.

Stingers 2, Patriots 1 (shootout): Scott Childress' shootout goal lifted the Stingers and their giant goalie, Dana Fenili. Fenili stopped 18 of 19 shots. Rodney Murray scored in the second period for the Stingers on a Roland Widman assist. Butch Hutchison fed Jeff Vaughan on the Patriots' goal. The Pats fell from first but could still be headed for a Stanley Keg final with victories over the Spiders and REDRUM. Not that they're counting their chickens, but somebody already predicted victories in the comments section below. Shhhh. Don't tell the Spiders or Stickmen, who also are 5-1 heading into the final regular-season games.

Ice Holes 2, Lucky Puckers 0: Andrea Cortinas scored both goals in this one, and both came on assists by Mike Skupien. Jared Junker also got an assist on the second goal. The Ice Holes played typically stingy defense, allowing just 14 shots.

Stickmen 4, Komets 2: Ed Vogel had the hat trick for Stickmen. Tim James had a pair of assists. Jesse Henderson added a shorthanded goal in the third period. That turned out to be the game-winner as the Stickmen improved to 5-1. The Komets managed just six shots on goal.

REDRUM 4, Fugaweez 2: Daniel Barr had two goals to help snap REDRUM out of its funk. He also had an assist. Other goals were by Michael Wh*&% (That's right, we can't read it.) and Jason Howell. For Fugaweez, Big Dan Grimes notched a pair. Kyle Overton had two assists.

Spiders 7, Brewzers 2: Andrew Patti laid four goals and an assist on the slumping Brewzers. This one was quite the pasting, but maybe not as bad as the score indicates. The Spiders took only 16 shots. Unfortunately for Brewzer fans, seven went in. Yikes. Other goals were by Rahul Sharma, Alex Atkins and -- well, whaddya know -- scorekeeper David Lusty scored one.

Blue Devils 2, Snipers 1: Finally, a blue moon rose Saturday. The Devils took an uncharacteristic 35 shots in breaking a four-game losing skid. Dan Glein and Todd Smith scored, both assisted by Chris Perkins. Snipers goalie Patrick Donaghue was on-his-head fantastic. The Snipers' goal was by Jesse Henderson, who capitalized on a 5-on-3 advantage.

Note to Tom Buckner: If you have the photos we discussed, leave your email below and we'll tell you how to send them.

Note to everyone else: Remember, there are no games this week because of Labor Day and etc. Next games: Sept. 9.

BC

Hockey Video of the Week

Check out this hockey fight. Total greatness, accompanied by System of a Down. Enjoy.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=353208567394505949&q=hockey