No Coors Tournament For You

Sad news: The annual Coors Light 4-Sport Tournament of Champions is canceled because not enough teams showed interest. Apparently, the Sept. 8-10 weekend they chose didn't work for enough of us. The hockey-softball-bowling-golf-poker tournament (that's five sports, for those paying attention) will instead convene next April.

Standings and schedule

Schedule for tonight:

7:45 p.m.: Patriots vs. Stingers
8:45 p.m.: Puckers vs. Ice Holes
9 p.m.: Komets vs. Stickmen
10 p.m.: Phantoms vs. Wolverines
10:15 p.m.: Brewzers vs. Spiders
11:15 p.m.: REDRUM vs. Fugaweez
11:30 p.m.: Blue Devils vs. Snipers
12:30 a.m.: Beer ;)

Eating Their Lunch(Box)

Stickmen 6, Puckers 3: Tim James scored twice and Ed Vogel had two assists in a game the Stickmen broke open in the third period. The game was tied 2-2 with under seven minutes to play, when James scored his second goal. Goals followed by Brian Listman, Jesse Henderson and Jim O’Reilly. The Puckers got goals from Greg Riggs, Dallas Lehr and LeMoine the scorekeeper. The Stickmen improved to 4-1. Above, the vaunted Lunchbox sneaks in behind the Puckers' net.

Other results for games of Aug. 19 ...

Spiders 4, Fugaweez 2: Four different Spiders scored in this one, and the defense smothered Fugaweez, allowing just seven shots. Goals were by Andrew Somebody (can’t read your last name, Andrew, sorry), Somebody With Initials KN, Alex Somebody and … well, we’ll give the fourth goal to scorekeeper LeMoine (apparently goes by one name, like Pele and Tatu and … Madonna), who did such a fantastic job. His goal was credited to No. 1, who’s not listed on the scoresheet. Scott Dolbee and Clark Sandlin scored for Fugaweez. John Ward had an assist.

Patriots 1, Snipers 0 (shootout): Butch Hutchison and Kyle Krumm (can hardly read this name, so apologies to Kyle; blame above-mentioned LeMoine) hit the net in a shootout to lift the undefeated Patriots. Goalie Jon Ellis saw just five shots and stopped them all. Snipers goalie Pat Donaghue was even better, stopping 21 of 21.

Stingers 5, Brewzers 1: Scott Childress scored twice and Greg Carter had a goal and two assists for the Stingers. Childress’ goals late in the third put the game out of reach. Other goals came from Jason Isham and Scott Castleberry. Isham also notched an assist.

Wolverines 7, Komets 2: Few details available on this game cuz the scoresheet got cut off. However, we had a good seat for this one and can testify it was a damned rout.

Ice Holes 3, Blue Devils 0: We had a good seat for this one, too, and can testify it was a damned rout. The hapless Devils managed just eight shots to the Holes’ 43. Ouch. Greg Hunt had a pair of goals, unassisted, and Dave Base had the other (assist Joan Crook and Jason Junker). Hunt also managed a crafty (and uncalled) hook in the nice young man who broke free behind the Ice Holes' defense and had an open shot on goal.

Phantoms 8, REDRUM 0: We hope the beer was cold after this one, Redrummers. John Lloyd had the hat trick for Phantoms. Jay Peters added a pair as the Phantoms remained undefeated and tied for first place. Other goals: Greg “The Hook” Hunt, Cory Howard and someone whose name we can’t read. We’ll call him Chris DeBaene. Goalie Jesse Gonzales was perfect but faced just 11 shots. As for REDRUM, well, they led in penalties.

Just for fun ...

Check out these videos (I swear, they're not dirty.) ...

Fight Club: Here is the fight to end all fights, including the verboten use of hockey sticks as billyclubs. This looks like a scene from The Warriors. (Only old guys will get that pop culture ref.)

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6891873796773147917&q=hockey&hl=en

Ovechkin: What looks like all of Alexander's goals last season, strung end-to-end and accompanied by Aerosmith. Keep in mind: Those are NHL defenders and goalies he is taking to the woodshed. Good grief.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3957094422427700341&q=hockey&hl=en

Standings, Schedule for Aug. 19

This week's schedule:
8:30 p.m.: Fugaweez vs. Spiders
8:30 p.m.: Phantoms vs. REDRUM
9:45 p.m.: Wolverines vs. Komets
9:45 p.m.: Ice Holes vs. Blue Devils
11 p.m.: Patriots vs. Snipers
11 p.m.: Stingers vs. Brewzers
12:15 a.m.: Stickmen vs. Puckers*
*StarCenter is serving flapjacks and syrup, sausage, oatmeal and orange juice after this game. (Not really, but what gives with the red-eye start time?)

Takedown: Snipers Ambush Brewzers

Snipers 3, Brewzers 2 (shootout): The Brewzers came roaring back from a 2-0 deficit with goals by Andy Thomas and Greg Delaney in the last 5:10 of the third period. But it was the Snipers who prevailed in the shootout. Not sure who scored the winner cuz, yep, the scorekeeper didn't note that tidbit. However ... according to the Snipers' website (www.eulesshockey.com) the shootout winner was by David Counce. He also had one of the regulation goals, along with Tom Buckner.

Other results and highlights from Saturday ...

Phantoms 1, Spiders 0: Scott Alcon scored the game's only goal on an assist by J.J. "Dy-no-mite" Simonelli at 8:41 of the first. The Spiders dropped from the ranks of undefeated, leaving only Phantoms and Patriots. Those teams don't have a regular-season meeting. If they do play, it could be for the Stanley Keg.

Wolverines 4, REDRUM 0: Greg Mersberger scored two and the brothers Conner each had a score. Mike Drago had an assist on the second Mersberger tally. Goalie Chris Duran was perfect on 15 shots.

Patriots 2, Ice Holes 0: The Patriots remain perfect, getting goals from Roy Urquhart (assist Jeff Vaughan) and Rahul Sharma. The winless Holes got zip, and managed just 12 shots. What's up, guys?

Stingers 6, Fugaweez 1: Josh Briscoe and Robin Burkhart each had two goals and an assist in this romp. Also scoring for Stingers: Roland Widman and Russ Morris. Eric Johnson had Fugaweez's only score, in the third period after it hardly mattered. This game was a penaltyfest: 11 between the teams.

Stickmen 5, Blue Devils 3: The Stickmen shook off some shaky referee calls for a sound 5-3 victory. Goals were by Jesse Henderson, Luke Schweinfurth, Alex Eysermans and Ken Halford. The last score, a full-ice, slow-motion wormburner after the Blue Devils pulled goalie Mike Redmon in the final minute, was heard called a classic in Stickmen history. Credit Jeff Thomas. BDs goals were by Matt Patchen (assist Kevin Garten), Big Al Kriesman (assist Mike Drago) and Chris Perkins (assists Mike Binney and John Dwyer.) The last one pulled the Blue Devils within 4-3 with 1:33 left.

Lucky Puckers 6, Komets 2: Rob Constantine had a hat trick plus two assists to lead the Puckers. Brent Lasse had a goal and two assists. Other goals were by Chris Kirton and Scott Dolbee. The hard-working but, alas, winless Komets got two from Ray Scott. Jimmy Welch notched an assist.